Wednesday, December 26, 2007

THE INQUIRY MOVEMENT

THE INQUIRY MOVEMENT
By: Jett E. Aviñante, M.D.

With the advent of the Cursillo Movement , many other movements of similar nature sprout all over the archipelago, most of them intended to regenerate the morality of the youth. Generally speaking, these youth movements are dramatically effective specially the reformatory changes which are very evidently felt. Yet, if one shall observe and follow these youth closely one shall realize the short-acting effects, the youth being fragile and changeable in many ways so that the latter results are sometimes even more discouraging. The reason for this is the lack of follow-up since most of these movements are not guaranteed by any total form of security.

With this problem in my mind, on May 28, 1968, I organized a experimental group composed of eighteen young boys and girls. I discussed with them the following conference-like procedure and I found it to be one very encouraging method of minimizing juvenile delinquency. This program consists of five parts which is usually done at night from 6:30 p.m.

Part I – The Inquiry Proper
A. Personalized opening prayer by a volunteer.
B. The Words of Life (usually chosen by the youth themselves and interpreted for them by the discusser of the day, an adult)
C. Life experiences (based on the Words of Life, presented by one assigned and one volunteer).
D. Supplementary remarks (by one assigned and one volunteer)
E. Meditation (performed by the discusser. The topic is one applicable or appealing to teen-agers, usually dealing with different virtues with emphasis on respect and obedience).
F. Observer’s view (usually by the sponsor for the occasion, a civic-minded citizen of the town)
G. Personalized closing prayer by a volunteer.
Part II – The Open Forum (The Discusser act also as the Moderator. The questions deal on anything ranging from a simple crush to infallibility of the Pope. This portion is limited to half hour.
Part III – The Jam session: Games, Puzzles, Jokes, Songs, Riddles, Show of Talent and what have you.
Part IV – Snacks offered by the Sponsor or Host of the Day.
Part V – Offertory Prayer – led by a volunteer for his intention.
The whole program last for a minimum of three hours, then the non-delinquent
juveniles go home with new insight, new friends, new jokes and a bundle of joy. .

Through these experiences the youth learns and enjoys at the same time. Their potentialities are stimulated and activated; hence they share with others their own intellectual, social, spiritual, moral and even physical capabilities. The style is quite contagious and appealing even to the parents and very encouraging to the delinquent groups – they just find themselves learning and enjoying with the QUERISTS.
The Inquiry is presented in different neighborhood precisely for the parents to see what their children are doing, and more so, to attract the youth in that vicinity. Within two weeks my experimental group composed of only eighteen, rapidly grew to sixty and the problem that follows is where to handle them because not all houses are big enough to accommodate everyone.
The next thing I did was try one Special Inquiry consisting of children and their parents. Can you imagine parents listening to their own children’s life experiences and children asking questions about their own parents who are present? Not only that, they play and sing together as if they are just friends.
To readers who may find this interesting to try in their own hometowns, some suggestions.
1. Have in possession one book of games and jokes.
2. Be ready to give away prices such as books, candies rosaries, cell
loads.
3. Be on the alert during the Open /Forum. They will ask you
anything.
4. Think of some tangible projects to keep them busy.
5. Don’t get tired. The more often you do it, the more they like.

Note: The Movement that I organized was very active until I got married when I needed to plan my own family. They, the Querists, didn’t want me anymore to continue so I could attend to my family plans. No one would take over as Moderator.

Friday, November 30, 2007

THE LAST MONTH

December is always fascinating. It is the month associated with joy, with colors, with everything beautiful. December, actually is the most anticipated month. It is the month when tropical climate is at its best, the month when typhoon usually stops coming, hopefully the month when calamities should at least be at rest.

December is lso associated with bonuses, with gifts, with plenty of food, with expensive toys and dresses. Most of all it is the month when we celebrate the birth of our Lord.

For the Filipinos, December has its own share of unhappy events. It is the month also of "Niños Inocentes". when we commemorate the killing of children under two years old as ordered by King Herod when Jesus Christ was born. It is the month when Rizal, our National Hero was executed at Bagumbayan, now Rizal Park. It is the month of almost successful Coup in 1989.

For the deprived Filipinos it is the month of humiliation when they feel poorer, unluckier, more deprived. But one thing good about December is that it brings with it Hope, it carries Promises, it adds a little Life to the dying and more strenght to the weakened.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

HEROISM

National Heroes Day! Feast of the proclaimed heroes. We have many proclaimed heroes and we all know them. They are our inspirations, their lives must be emulated. Without those heroes this country would have gone to the dogs a long time ago.

Heroes are seldom proclaimed nowadays. The criteria for heroism and martyrdom as well as sainthood are getting tougher and tougher as days pass-by.

But look, just to be able to survive with a smile this greatly devastated country is martyrdom enough. I think the calamities that God is allowing to visit this country in this generation are actually challenges to determine how strong we are. How we live in this kind of world actually separates the men from the boys, the women from the girls, the courageous from the cowards, the learned from the stupid, the genuines from the fakes, the heroes from the absurds, the martyrs from the charlatans, the good from the evil.

Yesterday, Senator Antonio Trillanes, III and General Danila Lim tried to be heroes by daring the existing government and they, together with their followers, landed in jail.

However, so many good things and so many heroes came out from our problems. They are like stars shining and twinkling beautifully during a dark, dark night. Just like during the first Christmas.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

MARITAL DIFFICULTIES

When I married I thought it was a bed of roses. When the children came out I realized that marriage was a sacrifice. I thought rearing babies was the most difficult and I hoped to be able to rest when they grow up.

They grew up and I discovered that they were even more difficult to deal with. And just when I thought I have adjusted well enough to my "grown-ups" new problems sprouted left and right. Their lovers, their love ones, their friends coming from diferent places bringing with them different culture and family background.

Parents cannot just keep quiet in their children's choices for their lifetime partners. Soon enough they started forming their own families... getting married one after another.This experience made me stare blankly at times. Not only that, they began migrating to other countries with their families.

Now two sons are based in Australia, a daughter moved to Canada, another daughter is planning to go to London after her marriage. Only a daughter married to a politician shall probably be left in the Philippines. It is good that my wife and I are old enough to say goodbye to the world. But hope I wish we had more bonding times with our grandchildren.

I think I have tried enough and have exerted all I can in rearing my children adequately and properly to face the new dimensions of their existence with their own chosen paths in life. I can feel a great sense of fulfillment though I know in many ways I didn't give them the best.

Monday, November 26, 2007

BIRTHDAY CELEBRANTS

Today is Ninoy Aquino's Birthday. It is also the Birthday of my wife. To me both Ninoy and my wife were very important persons. Ninoy's death triggered the bloodless revolution that eventually drived away the conjugal dictators. My wife's life on the other hand was a revolution in itself.

Like EDSA revolution my wife was atypical in many ways but in her being atypical came out several characteristics not ordinarily encountered among ordinary housewives. The reason was simply because my wife was not ordinary.

When she worked she worked as if everything in this world depended on what she was doing. When she loved, she loved like a newborn baby, enjoying every touch of her mother's hands.

She knew little about great things but she did great things in little ways. She was a very protective mother, sometimes to a fault; naive about culture and trsditional heritages; childlike in her religious beliefs; assertive as a wife; carefree on matters concerning fashion and etiquette. For she was an ordinary woman with extra-ordinary qualities understood only by a loving husband.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Monologue of a Dirty Skull

Once, I was a handsome boy,
As happy as can be...
My eyes were bright,
My arms were strong
...MY LIFE WAS MAD AND FREE.

That time I was the strongest,
No one could challenge me.
In every way I was the best;
...WOMEN WERE CHASING ME.

But one day I met my fate.
I died a sudden death...
My head was cracked,
My arms did break,
...FORTUNE DISTORTED ME.

Now I am just a dirty skull,
A piece of nothing: That's me...
Quickly returning back to dust.
...WITHOUT THE CROSS, WHERE SHALL I BE?

To you, who are still alive
Just look at me and feel your life.
For very soon you'll be like me,
Look at your soul...
...LISTEN TO ME.

While there is time do something good.
Your life is but too very short.
Do it right now, there's no excuse...
Start moving
...DO SOMETHING GOOD.

For when you die, you'll profit none
To gain just all the whole world round.
If finally you'll lost your soul,
...YOU'LL ONLY BE A DIRTY SKULL.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Why Teen-agers Avoid Confession

Teen-agers are beautiful beings.They live the happiest moments of their lives. And because teen-agers are most beautiful and most happy, they are the most misunderstood group of Homo sapiens strolling on earth. They will be seen in places where adults least expect them to see while they are nowhere in sight in areas where they should be. Well, that is why they are teen-agers.

But teen-agers are not just like that. They are many things more which makes them most interesting too. They hate to be called "miniature adults" and they dislike being branded as "grown-up infants". They just want to be known as teen-agers and hope to stay forever that way. For in fact, it is truly pleasing to be a teen-ager because teen-agers are the most responsible people... They are always right even if they are really right at times.

Being always right is good although being always right is being always a teen-ager, and being always a teen-ager means avoiding a thousand and one important privileges.

Teen-agers are awkward. They avoid many things: the adults, the children and yes, other teen-agers like them. By doing so they keep their awkwardness, the mark of a teen-ager... the sense of identity, the feeling of individualism in the already too crowded world.

They avoid the adults because "adults behave as if they never were teen-agers themselves". Adults are very inquisitive. They are dominant. They think they know everything but they always fail to prove their worth among teen-agers, that is why teen-agers hate them. Teen-agers also avoid children because children are ambitious, because children are nothing but "little adults", and teen-agers avoid adults.

Naturally they also avoid other teen-agers, and why not? Identity is an specialty and specialty is individuality. There is no room for a double. However, teen-agers are understanding; they can tolerate what they avoid; they have learned to swallow the bitter presence of others in their midst.

Teen-agers are tolerant but only up to a certain limitation.They can tolerate an adult or a child or even another teen-ager but not someone "too old" or someone too "childish" or something for other teen-agers. Yes, they can tolerate what they avoid and they will always avoid what they cannot tolerate... like the business of going to a priest to confess.

For a teen-ager, there is nothing wrong with confession. What they avoid is confessing. It is too much for them to swallow. First, because a priest is generally an adult, and adults are all alike; inquisitive, dominant and old. Second, because sin is only for children since children are not aware of what they are doing. Teen-agers believe that sins can only be committed when one is not aware of what he is doing. Who can ever argue on that logic? Did I not say teen-agers know what they are doing? Third, because confessing is a very stupid act done only by stupid teen-agers. And so teen-agers avoid confession.

Teen-agers love to be called young in as much as they really are but they can never admit that they are sinners. They will insist that anything they do is a privilege of the youth, a part of the process of growth, a natural phenomenon for them or else they are abnormal. As Ted Kennedy once said: " the misunderstanding between the young and the adult lay in the fact that the youth do not receive satisfactory answers to their difficult questions. 'The old have a tendency of double talking when it comes to dealing with the young'". A priest, for the youth, is not a very special adult and since confessions are handled by priests, they avoid them,.

On the other hand, some teen-agers go to confession. But how sincere really are are those who go? Many are doing it only because of love or a love one requested and certainly, a teen-ager believes that lover or the love one not because of his or her greatness but because he or she is another teen-ager who happen to be in conformity with his or her ideas.

The more effective strategy perhaps is for the priest, or for that matter, any adult, to look backwards to the time when he himself was a teen-ager. In this way, one shall be dealing with oneself.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

0F WOMEN AND TEARS

A teen-ager requested me one day to write something about women and tears. Hope he is around to read this.

While both sexes are created with tear glands, only female (not necessarily the weaker sex) is fully associated with real tear flow. Women are generally better criers than men. This started when Eve tearfully offered an apple to Adam in paradise. Adam fell and we all know what happened next.

Tear, physiologically speaking, is nothing but a simple compound of cleansing fluid, intended to wash away the dirt of the eyes. In like manner, a woman is nothing but a chemical composition, so complicated, for man to understand. Both women and tears are simple, yet both women and tears are complicated, enough to confuse any man on his right senses.

I am one such confused man because I've seen a woman crying. It was such a terrible sight. I was shaken... yes, body and soul, I was shaken. She looked relaxed, composed and in control of her poise but her tears were more eloquent. I saw them flowing on her soft, rosy cheeks. They spoke fluently for her. They told me her feelings and I was not too dull to understand.

Tears are women's interpreters of their emotional feelings, a "talkative" outlet of their suppressed moods. When tears talk, you've got to listen, because when tears talk, they talk well.

Then again I saw her crying. This time she was not composed, she was not relaxed, she was not her usual poise, for she was mad. Her face was red with anger, her eyes were burning with furor but tears were dropping endlessly from them. She looked lovelier. How can a man answer back a crying beauty, no matter how mad? Tears are women's charm, so overwhelming, so magnetic, so powerful that they can melt even a monster's heart.

Finally, at long last, I saw her happy. She was so overwhelmed by joy that her eyes elongated into two pretty slits. Blood vessels became visible on her neck, minute arteries reddened her face and her dimples laugh with her lips. She was hilariously dancing out her uncontrollable contentment. But she was crying. She had drawn herself with tears. Everybody else laugh with her and the whole world turned pink. Tears are women's sense of humor. With them, she could express her jokes and impart her wittiness.

She was bitten by a centipede. The pain was unbearable. She strongly clasped her hands while greatly gnashing her teeth. It must be terrific, her lips turned blue. Again, she let flow the sedative. The bitter tear that relaxes, the tear that curses.

Women and tears are inseparable. Useless will be one without the other. Tears are women's line of defense. their greatest weapons to protect themselves. A man maybe strong with his arms, but a woman is stronger with her sighs. A man is powerful with his dignity but a woman is greater with her sobs. A man maybe famous and incorruptible, yet a woman is eternal because with her tears, she can wash even her soul. While Hestas condemned himself by spitting out his sins, Magdalene saved herself by bathing in contritions with tears.

I am in love with a woman who knows how to cry. And she is a good mother and a perfect wife.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

What a Beautiful Morning

Last night I slept at around 10:00 O'clock p.m. when the flower of the goose-neck cactus was in full bloom spreading its scent all over my terrace of merriment.

Now I know it is around 4 O'clock in the morning. Many roosters are crowing while the hens are screaming around. A symphony of sounds is heard together with those of other night birds also rejoicing.

From my room only one panel of my window pane is half open. If I open all panels it would be too cold and too windy for my health.

From that half-opened panel I could see the brightness of the morning star on top of the swaying palms of the proud coconut tree. The bright morning star is very, very slowly moving downwards as if fetching the sunrise.

I thank God for the beautiful day. I whispered a morning prayer while preparing myself for another interesting and fruitful day.

Before I realized it, the golden sunrise dominated the brightness of the morning star that quietly went away. What a beautiful morning!

NECROLOGICAL SERVICES

A Municipal Councilor died and I watched the Necrological services held at the local session hall.The place was a bit crowded for the occasion; what with all the municipal officials, policemen, relatives and friends of the deceased. There were no seats and the photographer was nervously moving around trying to focus his camera on the governor. Everybody else was elbowing gayfully (note: the word gayfully) against one another in search for a more comfortable space.

Suddenly the amplifier made a long scandalous sound, then harsh voice came out with it calling the roll of councilmen. As the name of the dead councilor was called, no one answered (well, of course everybody was aware he was dead), but there were occasional sobs and uncoordinated noses.

A councilor stood up and read his prepared speech. He mentioned some good points about the dead man, then pleaded to everybody to pray for the soul of the departed colleague. Another councilor followed making a very long repetitious words of praises; a couple of other speakers continued then finally the son responded. Meantime, some were exchanging jokes outside. All policemen looked confused, walking endlessly in all directions while the son could hardly express his gratitude... and it was all over.

The coffin containing the body was moved towards the Church. The funeral procession was attended by hundreds of men, women and children, a brass band was following

That was the end of another man, another man who, during his life was a very controversial person; the most misunderstood but who kept a jovial attitude 'till death. Soon he shall be forgotten, for what is the use of a dead man? A topic for necrological services, that is all.

Life indeed is more pleasing, more valuable. Let us therefore add life to our remaining years because even years are no longer important to our remaining lives, if we shall simply exist. It is not important even if when we die the rest will forget us, as long as ourt souls can rejoice.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Confession of an Ex-convict

He was a 'bad boy', he admitted... before. But now after having stayed inside the prison bars for years, he learned many lessons and discovered the meaning of life. He decided to live the life that he just discovered. Now that he is released from prison, he is extremely happy for at last he will be able to use the rest of his life-service for his mother, for goodness, for works worthy in the eyes of God.

The way he expressed to me his feelings,I was convinced that he had sincerely repented for his past shortcomings against society, that he was willing to live a new life in a new world... but his mother, the cause of his joy, the purpose of his new plans in life, while he was in prison, 'turned bad'. His very young brother told him the story which he did not want to believe at first but which turned out to be very true. Now, upon discovery of the facts, his subconscious was again rebelling against his reason. He could not by all means explain why things happened that way.

He told me everything and I myself felt speechless at first. He talked so calmly and so dignified that you would not believe he was ever in prison or in trouble. Yet, I could feel the pumping of his heart, the gnashing of his teeth, the confusion in his mind and the feeling of disbelief though all the time he remained composed.

Tactfully I tried to let him feel psychologically comfortable. I showed to him the clear picture of his situation and how to go about it. All the while he was very attentive and I took advantage of it. I talked and talked to let him feel he was not alone. I made him realize that I was sympathizing with him but at the same time I made him discover that even his mother could not be blamed since his being bad before was the root of all the trouble.

Finally, I implanted into his mind that his trouble was beyond human capabilities and for problems like this, only God could help because without God "he could do nothing". He felt consoled and showed a hopeful smile then thanked me and promised to come closer to God.

SIN OF OMISSION

I was I new medical graduate when this incident happened. Another woman died; she did not die alone for she was in full term pregnancy and was about to deliver the baby who also died a few minutes following the mother. Both mother and child could have been saved, but ignorance and negligence killed them.

I knew the case because I was called to attend to them. She was already dead when I arrived, in fact she was already dead when someone decided to call a doctor. She died abruptly according to the informant, a quack midwife (hilot), after complaining of severe epigastric pain with radiation at the back accompanied by vomiting of "very yellow" fluid. Further informations revealed that the woman have been yellow all over since about two weeks ago but no one cared to call a doctor as she was up and about with her daily activities. With the data given I presumed that the cause of sudden death could be rupture of the gall bladder. She could have been saved had she decided to call a doctor earlier, the child too, could have been saved even after the death of the mother if someone smart enough only played his role and gave his share. There were hundreds of people around when I came. Most of them looked smart and everybody was hurrying. A woman (the one who called me) was forcing me to give all the injections I could to bring back the life of the already rigid Madonna and Child.

The above incident is not uncommon. Many lives could have been saved if only someone informed enough in the community of uninformed should take the courage to explain what he knew.

There are very few persons with determination to share his knowledge with others and if this will go on, society will go to the dogs.

People have gone to the moon and they will not stop until they unveil the mystery of the outer space but even if they become successful in all their ventures; even if they are able to count the number of stars in the galaxy, as long as there is someone in this planet earth who still believe that the earth is flat, all is in vain. The important thing is not what you are doing, no matter how fantastic, but what you fail to do.

Going back to the woman who died: she was buried extravagantly, the funeral procedures were all first class, many joined the funeral parade, much money was spent; yet, if even just one tenth of the amount spent for the burial was spent for the consultation at the appearance of the yellowish discoloration, she could have been saved. But that time, she had no money. It took one's life to realize everything.

I agree with him who said: "It is not the things you do dear, it is the things you leave undone... that gives you a bit of heartache at the setting of the sun".

Sins of omission happens left and right. At the Last Judgment, God's questions will be few and simple but only few could truly answer "yes, my Lord". Did you feed the hungry? Did you give drink to the thirsty? Did you clothe the naked? Did you visit those in prison? Did you shelter the homeless? Did you visit the sick and bury the dead? Did you admonish the sinner? Did you instruct the ignorant? Did you counsel the doubtful? Did you comfort the sorrowful? Did you bear wrongs patiently? Did you forgive all injuries? Did you pray for the living and the dead?

Yes, God will not ask the number of craters in the moon nor the number of hearts transplanted. He will not ask senseless questions. He will only ask what you did to the least of His brethren, things most people failed to do. Sins of omission...

Let us therefore stop elbowing against one another for things unknown. That is plain nonsense. Let us just look at our brethren; let us find the least of them, for in them we shall see Christ portion by portion and only through that way shall we really see Him face to face.

Monday, November 5, 2007

A WEDDING DAY

While scanning my files I came across this interesting article. It happened a long time ago, March 7, 1992 to be exact. It was truly a day to remember. I was scheduled to sponsor a wedding at St. Joseph Parish Church, Las Piñas, where the world famous "Bamboo organ" is kept for centuries. The invitation says it starts at 10:30 a.m, but my wife had appointments with some clients at 8:00 a.m. at the Magallanes Supermart. To save gasoline we agreed that together with my daughter, Brinna who was joining me to the wedding, we would all go together, drop Terry at Magallanes then the two of us would proceed to Las Piñas.

As expected we arrived long before 9:00 a.m., about two hours ahead of schedule. I told my daughter that one good principle to keep in mind when there is an important appointment is that, "It is better three hours too soon than one minute too late". So we killed time and a poolice man helped us crossed the street. I was about to praise him to the high heavens for being so different until I realized that he left his post and followed us for quite a time obviously waiting for "lagay".

At around 10:00 a.m. another group of wedding entourage with golden motif came (our motif was red) but the ceremony was not started even when their scheduled time was long over. I was restless and sort of beginning to feel irritated specially when someone told me that our true schedule was 11:00 a.m. but it was only printed as 10:30 a.m. in the invitation to give allowance to "filipino time" practitioners.

But my temper was somehow appease when a rumor got around that the golden-motifed wedding was canceled because on the way to the church the groom was apprehended by the police. He turned out to be an addict supposedly inside the rehabilitation center. It was a tragic event just like in the movie.

Before our own schedule was started the color motif inside the church was changed to red. Meantime one of the eight lady sponsors, visibly the most bejeweled, approached me introducing herself as the former Ana de Taza. It took me quite a time to recognize her for she has grown too fat and a bit too dark compared to her pleasant look during her younger days.

Our wedding entourage started late and there was no one smart enough to make an orderly procession. I personally knew only the bride who happened to be one of the teachers of one of my children way back at De La Salle Zobel at Ayala Alabang where all my children studied. Most of the other sponsors were police officers except for a certain Dr. Mendoza who was a Doctor of Education.

The reception that followed was held at the covered backyard of the groom. It was a small space decorated with white and red creep papers. A typical Pilipino Banquet with Lechon, fried chicken, minudo,embutido, morcon, escabeche, shrimps, fruit salad and leche plan. The presidential table was surrounded by all the folks in the neighborhood. My daughter joined the daughter and niece of Ana de Taza-Molina. It was a happy traditional wedding party.

On our way home my daughter was nagging me if I courted Ana when I was young. I said no, as I couldn't remember having courted her or even having crush on her. She was a happy companion then together with her other co-teachers from General Aguinaldo but I don't remember getting romantically interested in her. She probably confused that I liked her when we serenaded her once with my friends. But of course it is interesting to discover now that she entertained such an "illusion".

Now I understand why she kept on looking and talking to me before the wedding started. Finally she told her daughter that I courted her and her daughter in turn told my daughter about it, hence the reason for the nagging. The new generation must have been greatly entertained.

At 5:00 pm. Brinna and I went to San Agustin Church to attend another wedding. The reception was held at the poolside of "Imelda's" extravagant Coconut Palace. It was a beautiful place and the banquet was too elegant and classy. The food served by buffet style was simple but the presentation of the wedding program was very grand, complete with singer, dancer, violin band and formal presentation of all the wedding participants to the delight of the guests. Even the release of the white doves and final toast of the couple with their guests were dramatically romantic.

Reviewing the three weddings before retiring at night my mind kept on deciphering what could have happened to the bride of the groom who was apprehended by the police, not to mention the complications that involved so many people afterwards. I was trying to make my own analysis that probably the two were so much in love with each other, the very reason why the wedding was planned in the first place. Probably a very close relative of the bride counldn't swallow and addict groom and probably that close relative made negotiations for the apprehension of the groom just to stop the wedding.

But it is also probable that that close relative was the very cause of the groom's becoming an addict.Well, there are hundreds of possibilities and I stopped thinking at that point. Probably, I will never know the outcome of the tragic story but I presume that probably they also chose the day March 7, 1992 for the marriage day because like the two other wedding they also believed in good days for nuptials.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

B L I N D

There was once a young girl who was born blind. Someone asked her: "If wishes do come true what would be your most important wish in life?" The girl answered: "If wishes are granted, I will not waste my time wishing that I should see but that those who could already see may see the truth, beautiful and right".

We, with good sights are sometimes blind to so many things. We keep on seeking for what is not available, for what is far away. Yet, if we shall only open our eyes wildly we shall discover that we are surrounded by the graces of God. The beauty of nature is just around, good people are always available.

A blind man may not physically see things but he could see beyond his blindness. He could see colors through his imagination, he could appreciate art through his memory, he could understand life through experiences. He could not only see but actually experience love through his understanding, he could see goodness through his feelings, he could see God through his prayers, he could see the world because his heart is not blind.

THE CEMETERY

Almost a week after All Saints' Day I am still haunted by that place called the Cemetery. It is a place associated with silence as when one says, "silent as a grave". Any talk therefore about it is a bold attempt to disturb its serenity, its peace and sacredness. But a cemetery is also a common place and common places are good topics for common sense.

Nowadays, when cemeteries are already known as Memorial Parks and common senses are getting more uncommon, it is about this time that we should talk about the riddle of the tombs.

A cemetery no matter how it is arranged and wherever it is located, is always like a museum... full of dead things. The grasses may be greener and the air truly fresher, but still a cemetery is not a lively place. Yet, a cemetery is a symbol of many things. It is a historical record written in dirty bones. It talks of the past, speaks of the present and tells everything about the future. All the time it only says the truth. What in this world can talk about the truth better than a cemetery?

The day before All Saints' Day I brought my two grand daughters both to the Old Municipal Cemetery and the New Memorial Park. I was surprised that they both enjoyed the unusual place. They asked me so many questions that somehow challenged my sanity for a while. It was a learning experience.

Through cemeteries, past events are known and understood, present life is patterned and future improvements are being evaluated; but all the time the cemetery is insisting that man is limited, for man is going to die. Who can argue against the logic of the tomb?

An extension was under construction for reserved Mausoleums, I even suggested that they put up a Crematorium as many of the new generations are intending to be cremated, including myself.

Of course everything has been tried and are still being tried to prevent death, but the cemetery won't give way. It is always there, calling, waiting and willing to care for the remains of man in different manners. It is the very symbol of equality, the fair judge of all lives, the final destiny of our mortal bodies.

I have created my own grave site. It is a circular area planted to a Cypress tree where my ashes shall be scattered around after I am cremated when I die. My wife said she would join me there.

Many are afraid to die because many are afraid of the truth. They are scared of cemeteries because they are scared of themselves. Man is indeed funny, living a funny life in a funny world. On the other hand, the cemetery is lifeless... that is why it is always serious, that is why it is always for the truth and that is why it is a lonely place. Yet, a cemetery is not the end. It is not the finality of man, for man is immortal and his immortality goes beyond the grave. But man does not realize this until he reaches a cemetery where he learns the lesson. Most of the time, too late.

The cemetery is the gateway to Eternity. It is the spiritual labor room where man is born to an endless world. It is the light that reflects a beam of brightness to the image of God in everyone; the light that is bright enough to show the reality of God to man.

It is very clear that the cemetery is the Truth, the Life, the Way and the Light of man. Why then fear such a great and important place? A cemetery, after all, is God's indispensable instrument teaching man to understand himself. It is man's reminder of God's Omnipotence, the link that connects the creatures to their Creator.

Death is an inevitable affair. It will come to everyone. To some, death will come earlier and to others, death will pay a later visit but to everyone, death is a must. It is just like that... There is nothing that man can do to prevent it. Let us therefore face death with smile and courage because that is the only avenue that will bring us to Eternity, the only boulevard towards God.

If the Cemetery could talk, it will relate many stories, Tales of bones and skulls as well as experiences of dirty particles of dust. It will tell adventures of greatness, of victory and defeat, of success and failure. If it could paint, it would draw pictures of beauty, it will paint patterns of colors. If it could, it would sing melodies of happiness and frustrations. Yes, it would impart the lives of the many men buried in it. If the cemetery could only talk... But no, for the cemetery is "silent as a grave". It is just a place for the dead and the dead can do nothing. It cannot talk, it cannot paint, it cannot sing, it had to keep quiet.

From this cold, clammy and quiet piece of land we call the cemetery, let us go and study ourselves. We no longer can feel the powers of those great leaders of long ago for they are gone. Nothing was left of them but pieces of dirty bones buried underneath the green carpet of grass. Where are the beauties that we all longed to possess? They were eaten by the worms inside those shiny catacombs. That is the cemetery... a mute piece of earth where God has written the following passage: "Remember man that thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return".

The following day, All Souls' Day, my wife and I went to the other town where her parents and siblings, my in-laws, were buried. Because of the traffic we were delayed and arrived there as the night was beginning to engulf the day. There were no more people...only us and her brother.

We lighted two candles, whispered a short prayer and left the place which literally was really "silent as a grave".

Friday, November 2, 2007

FIRST CANONIZED SAINT

November 1st is All Saints' Day. They must be all rejoicing in heaven. Everyone must be in the mood to intercede for prayer requests of the living mortals. But we forget to seek their intercession as we decide to remember instead our departed relatives on this day, hoping that they are all saints.

I wonder how many catholics know that the first saint to be canonized is St. Dismas, the thief to the right of Jesus when He was crucified. Dismas is the one who said : "Lord, remember me when You go to Paradise", to which Jesus responded: "Amen, amen, I say to thee, this day you will be with Me in Paradise".

Those were the words of canonization... and Dismas went to Paradise with Jesus Christ. He is the only saint canonized by Christ Himself, the others were done by the Pope. He is the only saint canonized instantly... others take hundreds of years. He is so close and so strong to Jesus Christ that his intercessions are almost always granted.

For instant help I always seek the intercession of St. Dismas and many times he didn't fail me. I had his image specially sculptured for me by Arturo Suarez but when I visited the Manila City Jail one time and noticed that the chapel named after him had no image of the saint. I donated mine.

REMEMBERING THE DEPARTED

November 2 is All Soul's Day. This is the feast of all souls. This is supposed to be the day for the dear departed but very few cares to remember them this day. We have done everything yesterday... offering of prayers, candles and flowers.

In my case, every time that I am reminded of someone who is already dead, I offer a short prayer for his soul. If I am reminded of several I offer prayers for the souls in purgatory.

When I pass-by a house where there is a wake or when I encounter a funeral while commuting I see to it that I always offer a prayer for the soul of whoever is dead.

That is my way of helping and cooperating with the departed members of the "Church Suffering". In turn they also help us, the still living members of the "Church Militant". In their dimension of existence they could observe us better and they are in a better position to know our problems and extend their help. This is in the hope that some day we shall become members of the "Church Triumphant".when we shall all be enjoying he beatific vision.

In our Apostle's Creed there is a portion that mentions our belief on the communion of saints. While on earth, the most that we can do is offer them prayers every now and then or in my case after my evening prayer and morning prayers.

Monday, October 29, 2007

NO SENSE OF DIRECTION

There are times when I entertain a little self-pity because I didn't learn how to drive a car. Nowadays everybody seems to know how to drive a car and usually has a car of his own.

I sink a bit every time I go around for whatever purpose with a woman on the wheels. When I was young/old enough to learn how to drive, our family didn't have a car which I could use for practice driving. I didn't have the guts either to use the car of other people.

Furthermore, even if I learned how to drive I would have find it difficult to go places because I have that peculiar sense of disorientation about directions. Just a turn from a corner and I am completely lost.

Even in the province where I was born I am wondering why there are some places where my sense of direction is completely distorted and I cannot, no matter how much I try, put it in order.

I find it difficult to work away or far from where I live for in fact, even where I live, my sense of direction is completely opposite. What is south is north and what is east is west. Thanks God, my sense of down and up are still correct.

AN OPPORTUNITY

I had another chance to demonstrate my knowledge about hypnosis to a group of doctors together with some German citizens. It is a different feeling to be able to impart one's knowledge to one's colleagues, yes, I honestly learned all I knew about hypnosis through self-study.

The teacher in me is always trying to find an outlet for expression and whenever I have a chance I always jump at the opportunity for it always gives me a great and enormous sense of achievement.

It is not everyday that I have a chance to lecture to a group of doctors, though almost everyday I am able to share a little of myself to someone who needs enlightenment. Some enterprising persons can transform this chance into an earning process. They conduct a paid seminar by sharing a bit of what they know. In my case I always do it for free.

"They say that gratitude is the memory of the heart, and I have enough memories in my heart to last a lifetime". - William Kennedy Smith

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

NEGATIVISM

A lady Bank Manger approached me one time looking haggard and a bit depressed.She was so worried about her eye bags, which I wouldn't have noticed had she not reminded me about them.She thought they were symptoms of liver disease because she heard it mentioned in one radio program.

As a result of that negative thought she wouldn't be able to concentrate well on whatever she was doing, and if ever she did anything it was done poorly and lazily.

I explained to her that it was nothing but result of a disturbed sleep. The disturbed sleep was in turn a result of worries and negativism. She could easily see things negative or the darker side of anything.

I taught her how to practice positive conversion until her mind gets conditioned to it that sooner her attitude would be more positive and brighter. I saw how her face lighted after I gave her some easy examples.With a smile she went back to her office no longer conscious of her eye bags. Her subordinates noticed her new positive aura.

FEELING SICK

Mind power can be truly boggling as shown by the patient who consulted me one morning. He was complaining of clogged nose, sore throat, coughing episodes, hemorrhoids, small penis, not fully descended testes. His complaints are not uncommon but his attitude was the one that really counts. He felt very sick.

He believe he couldn't be relieve by any medications. He believed his penis was too small in circumference and too short in size and that his pubic hair was so thin. He thought the people are laughing at him.

He said he had spend a lot for medications but he felt that even the vitamins didn't do him any good. I suggested that he undergo hypnosis so I could persuade him to realize and discover his true assets.

Patients like him are many. I think they consist about 85% of patients seeking doctor's advice. They are the ones who really needed hypnotherapy but the irony of it is that instead of going to a Hypnotherapist they'd rather shop for doctors which unfortunately cannot cure them. The few who accidentally met my way were luckier. They sometimes get rid of their symptoms in one or two sessions. Speaking of this patient, it took me long to convince him to undergo hypnotherapy and now he is my most grateful patient.

Friday, October 19, 2007

METAPHYSICS

One morning I woke up early, fixed myself at once in preparation for my early visit to my ophthalmologist.

I called my secretary in the office to find out if anybody requested for an appointment. It was good that there was none for then I said I could easily join my wife and my children on their way out so I could quickly go for an eye check up.

A 'kumpadre' called up to inform me that his brother was coming early, bringing with him some important documents we needed to close a sale of a lot along Tagaytay ridge. So, when my family left I stayed at home to wait for him. Meantime while waiting I read "Man and Metaphysics" by Donald H. Yett. It was all about the cosmic power and the cosmic consciousness.

I didn't expect to read important ideas I have been entertaining a long time ago as a great possibility, in fact already a reality, like the idea that our universe is merely an atom in the structure of the unlimited body of the absolute (God). When we say God is everywhere it is because the whole universe is God. God is limitless because the universe is limitless. And many other ideas so deep and so overwhelming that the ordinary mortal will find very difficult to comprehend. The book somehow absorbed me and of course the man I was waiting for never came. If that was cosmic order, who am I to question?

THE ROSARY

Like in any other Catholic communities, the Feast of the Holy Rosary is celebrated also during the month of October in our town. It is Mother Mary's favorite Festival, the Rosary being her precious garland of prayer.

Regardless of what other believers claim, we cannot deny the fact that Mary is the Mother of Jesus because even as man, Jesus never for a moment loss His Divinity. Mary was conceived without sin that is why she is "blessed among women" for if not how could she conceive God in her womb.

Mary's intercession is very important, likewise her intervention in our affairs. God cannot deny Mary's request as proven during the wedding at Cane. Jesus wasn't yet ready to perform a public miracle but when Mary "requested" He quickly transform water into wine. In exchange to her continuous intercession in our behalf, all that she request is for us to pray the Holy Rosary. The Rosary makes her very happy.

For several occasions Jesus called Mary, woman. First, when He was lost in the temple; second, during the wedding at Cana; and third during the crucifixion, just before He died. "Woman, behold your son", "Son, behold your mother". Ever since, Mary became our mother. She became responsible for us but we must also do our duty and responsibility to her.

On top of all goodness, graces and care, she asks nothing in return but a garland of prayer... The Rosary.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

ORPHANS

I have been observing them for several Sundays... a mother and her two sons. The father died several years ago and they are not rich. Whatever they are earning is possibly the little pension that the wife is receiving monthly.

The elder son is a bit stout and dignified looking. He is around 16 to 17 years old. The younger son who must be around 13 0 14 years old is thin in stature but very jolly. He is always kidding his 'kuya'. They are both handsome and neat.

The brothers alternate as 'lectors' for the Sunday mass. The mother sometimes participates in the readings and at times joins the choir. They are all very religious and contentment is clearly marked on their faces. I was deeply touched when I once saw the sons fix their mother's dress from behind.

It is very seldom that we see families like them... happy and enjoying peace of mind. Other families of their fate would have been indulging in self-pity and all negative behaviors, but this family is uniquely different. I am not embarrassed to admit that I envy them somehow though they are not rich and influential. Their happy disposition and proper religious involvement is truly commendable. To see orphans behaving the way they do is relieving. It is proof that this world is not after all, going to the dogs... no, not yet.

DREAM RECALL

Recalling a dream is not always easy. This morning when I woke up I was reminded of a very interesting dream which I promised myself to record in writing after breakfast. It is now after breakfast that I am writing this and as I try to reconstruct my dream I found out that I am looking at a blank memory.

Now it is appearing piece by piece. I ate at a certain restaurant with some friends, two of them were "balding" like me. I remember that I paid quite too much for what I ate but a lot of money was still left in my pocket.

Then with the same friends I went to see a kind of concert and we were already at the hall waiting for the performance when we realized that the performers were not yet ready. I went back to my house to fetch my wife and my eldest daughter who at that time were still sleeping.

So, I found myself in a balcony of "our house" which was not in anyway similar to our real house. I saw some performers (the church choir) coming to do a rehearsal with me. Finally when all was ready for the beginning of the show I woke up.

Dreams are wish fulfillment. True indeed, I am missing those chats with peers in a restaurant. I am missing too, those cultural and variety shows that I used to see with my friends. Yes, I miss rehearsals of presentations where I usually direct and sometimes be a part of the show. My love for things beautiful, the arts, the cultural heritages are all trying to jump out from my mind.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

SEXOLOGY

Sex Therapist, Dr. Margarita Holmes' books on Life, Love, Lust, Pleasure, Passion, etc., are both enlightening and stimulating. She approaches sex problems in a very straight-forward and down-to-earth manner. She lays a dividing line between the physical, the psychological and the moral in such a way that her materials turn out to be very controversial.

She explained sexual needs as just another primitive urge very similar to hunger and thirst. But I think she neglects the fact that while food and water are the answers to hunger and thirst craving respectively, copulation is not that easily available for sex urges in a polite society of human beings.

But anyway for mature and intelligent readers, Dr. Holmes' book could be very educational and entertaining. I still believe that just the way one cannot just eat any food when one is hungry, one must not just indulge in any kind of sex activity when one is aroused. There must be some kind of limitations when it comes to discussion about sex matters.

While sexual dysfunction and sexual perversions can arise from ignorance about sex physiology, it must be taught with caution and with consideration about the moral aspects and the varied side effects.

OVERTIME

Overtime... What is it? It is the time we use to work after office hours. And what are office hours? Eight hours, twelve hours, four hours, it depends on what kind of office you are working.

A General Medical Practitioner has no formal office hours. He is at every moment of his life for as long as he lives. He is a doctor even in church while attending mass or during parties everywhere and anytime. Patient just pop-up from out of the blue to consult a medical practitioner especially if one is practicing in a small rural community.

When I hear people complaining about overtime I just smile. If anybody should complain, it must be me, a medical practitioner. But I got used to it after practicing my profession for almost 50 continuous years.

Looking back through the years, I see small but important achievements accumulating in the deep chambers of my memories. As School Physician I know the problems of students; as Company Physician I am exposed to ailments and problems of the laborers; as Insurance Medical Examiner I deal with the middle class and the elite group; as General Family Physician I treat everyone and attend to all sorts of personalitites; as Contract Worker in a foreign country I experience varied things, from the most embarassing to the most fulfilling but as Hypnotherapist I feel very proud of my various unique achievements.

Up to now in my retirement I am still doing overtime work if overtime signifies working after office hours. I am no longer very active practicing my profession but I am still overwork doing counselling to young boys and girls; attending to researchers from different schools; pacifying quarreling couples or patching-up generation gaps. But I still enjoy doing everything as they help mentain my youthful attitude in life.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

SICK FAMILY

I was invited by a lady friend to see her friend who was deeply depressed, for possible hypnotherapy. When we reached the house I met a pretty young lady who was obviously in deep trouble. She just came from her Psychiatrist. I was told how she was exposed to several tragedies that somehow made her incapable of facing the many trials of daily existence.

In the course of our conversation the sick lady told me about her two sons who were both problematic, in fact they were given up completely by the school's guidance counselor for professional help. She said she was not in good terms with her mother and their constant quarrelling are picked by the children.

It was at this point when her mother arrived accompanied by her personal nurse.I immediately sensed something wrong. The old woman was the typical matriarch who was so assertive and must be very negative on her attitude towards her sick daughter who needed all the compassion and support necessary for her to recover from depression.

Seeming skeptic about my presence, she casually asked me where I practice. When I told her I was connected with the New Alabang Village Medical Specialists and that I lived in Ayala Alabang Village, her face brighten and she smiled with acceptance.

That family is in great trouble. I hope I'll be instrumental in curing them all so the New Hope and new life will find their ways into that home.

Psychic Enthusiast

I met a psychic enthusiast. She is a woman above seventy but she looked younger than her actual age.. She developed her interest in Parapsychology when she retired a few years back.

Meeting a "psychic" in me was God's grace to her as she had been dreaming of someday meeting a"weired" person and she thought I have the "qualities". Our discussion jumps from one psychic phenomenon to another. Comparing notes on books we have read showed that we are reading same material so we talk of the same language in the same vibration an wave length.

I met her because my wife was selling her a lot along Tagaytay ridge so they went together on a tripping. She liked the lot and decided to buy it.

She has a son who is a physician married to another physician but she is interested in submitting herself to me for treatment of her asthma and I think because of her enthusiasm and confidence in the method as well as in me, she is already 50% cured.

Monday, October 15, 2007

JOGGING

Many years ago at Ayala Alabang Village, whenever time and weather permitted I jogged (actually walked) around the village with a daughter or a son. We did this at night after dinner and by that time there were not many joggers.

For our long walk we traversed the whole length of Maria Cristina. It was a long street that formed a big loop around several districts that included ours. During such moments I had a chance to discuss severals important topics and exchanged jokes with my children. We greeted other walkers that we met along the way. Sometime we played psychology with the dogs.

When we were in the mood we stopped for a while at the park. Occasionally we watched other walkers passed-by. Not very seldom, we also argued about certain controversial topics but most of the time we agreed at the end.

Walking around was habit-forming. It was very good for the health and very relaxing afterwards. Often we had a chance to help "lost outsiders" find the correct address they were looking for. We learned a lot from our hobby... lessons about life that my walking children would surely reminisce when they grow up and have children of their own.

To us, the green Narra Park with scattered lampposts was like a vision in a dream... beautiful!!!

VEGETARIANS

Fruits and vegetables are good. Vegetarians are insisting that carnivorous people or the meat-lovers get sick easily. They argue that fruits and vegetables contain all the necessary ingredients for healthful existence. To prove their point they cite monkeys as a good example... surviving very well with only fruits and vegetables.

Meat is a good source of proteins, which serves as the body building materials used in the maintenance of health. But they say meat is also rich with toxins and other poisons that give rise to many ailments.

I agree that fruits and vegetables are good for our health but to an ordinary individual they are not always available. Only the very rich can really afford to buy variety of fruits and vegetables to keep their meals enjoyable.

Much as I want to be a vegetarian myself I am always force by circumstances to take other kinds of food specially with consideration to our social life style.

I am not embarrassed to admit that I haven't tasted the popular 'durian' but I am proud to say that while some people haven't seen 'chicomami', I have been fed up with it since my childhood. After all few have really seen and eaten 'sapinit', a wild cherry.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

COMPLIMENTARY

It had been a long time since I last attended a medical meeting, so when I went to join the meeting of Phi-lam life Medical Examiners I did not expect to see anyone until a lady physician came in pointing her finger at me.

I recognized her as someone who was with me when I worked in Nigeria, Africa. I came back to the Philippines in 1978 when my father died. I didn't return to Nigeria because I discovered that when I left, my wife worked again, contrary to our agreement that she would stay at home to take care of the kids. I couldn't allow my children in their formative stage of growth to grow up only with the maids. Three maids could never substitute for a parent.

It was my "staying" back home that triggered several misunderstandings between my wife and me. Ever since, she became very assertive and most of the time illogical and unreasonable. I just kept my patience, hoping and praying that finally all my children shall understand our "quite abnormal" family set up. The children shall someday realize my point while my wife shall finally acknowledge her own shortcomings.

My wife continued in her almost maniacal way in providing our children with material things, while I tried my best to be carefully guiding them on the right path to a better and more relevant life. It should have been the other way around but perhaps God allowed us to be together in matrimony because we would compliment each other somehow.

It did hurt me to see my wife worked so hard but it was that kind of lifestyle that kept her strong, healthy and youthful. In the course of our relationship I somehow discovered so many things that complimented us together. For instance in the choice of viand I always picked the back part of the milk fish while she would go with the belly. She likes the head portion of the lapu-lapu while I picked the tail part.In bread, she would rather eat the inside of a ban while I always enjoyed the outside more "cooked" part. Well, after 37 years we were still doing well as husband and wife... parents to our children and grandchildren.

Friday, October 12, 2007

UNIQUE LOVE AFFAIR

Love stories happen everyday.Many of them are ordinary attraction between opposite sexes that lead to matrimony. But the story I am going to tell is a unique one. It started more than a decade ago between a young Filipina music teacher who met an equally young, handsome French tourist.

The Frenchman traveled with his father's friend who owned a ship. When the ship docked at the Philippine ports for the needed repairs that would take several weeks, the Frenchman was invited by the Filipino Captain of the ship who happened to have a daughter who, incidentally was a close friend of the Filipina music teacher.

Their eyes met, their hearts throbbed faster, their minds communicated and the seed of love was planted in their souls. They talked, they played, they loved each other and got emotionally involved very deeply. Love was nurtured.

Parting time was difficult. The blooming love was greatly threatened by separation. It was hard to shallow but the young man must leave. "Good bye". "Keep in touch". "Till we meet again".

For ten years they exchanged notes, met each other in their dreams and love continued blooming. Both were exposed to different people and gained important experiences that matured them in such a unique manner.

After a decade their love stayed alive enduring a lot of trials and overcoming many difficulties. When the Frenchman came back he proposed marriage and a fairy-tale like Sacramental Wedding according to the Catholic rites was performed followed by a Garden Reception complete with "Typhoon". I was one of the "Ninongs".

HAPPINESS IS ELUSIVE

I remember vividly that time when two new families moved into our neighborhood at Ayala Alabang Village. Our next door neighbor must be very rich. They have several vehicles, two drivers and four maids. The Padre de Familia was a Cesar Montano look-alike, his two sons were both very handsome, just like the That's Entertainment guys. They were all very kind, very accommodating and seemingly very happy. But my wife and I wondered were the wife was until we heard from our driver that the couple were separated. Hearing things like that made me sad. Why did they not stick to each other long enough?

Across the street two houses away from ours were a young couple with a young boy of about four years old. The wife was obviously pregnant. As noted by one of my daughters, the young couple must be very lucky to own a beautiful house at their young age. They must be earning so much.

One day I saw them quarreling in front of their house. The woman must be very mad as she was shouting unprintable invectives. By any description, she was scandalous and remained that way for about an hour. When her husband kept quiet she turned her fury to her son. Mothers like her made me mad.

Happiness was always elusive. Externally Ayala Alabang Village was a picture of Peace, Calm, Affluence and Glory. To the outside it must be an enviable place to live. I myself was deceived that way until I lived inside with my family. I started meeting lonely and troubled people in their pathetic efforts to find happiness.

Happiness, I realized, was not a place or a thing that money could buy. It was a state of the mind. It lived in the heart, nurtured by love and illumined by the soul.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

GETTING TIRED OF TARDINESS

There must be something wrong somewhere, when only five persons out of one hundred honor their appointment time. This to me was very irritating and scandalous because I very seldom fail to make an appointment. As always, I nervously got ready too early in spite of my long experience of being "indianed" during meeting time.

One of my daughters got high grades in all subjects except in one where she was often tardy, thus depriving her the honor of being included in the Dean's list. Others have similar problems. My wife lost some very important business transactions due to tardiness too. Even if I woke them all early, they always found reasons to be late even for the regular Sunday mass.

In my case, it was always the other way around. I usually got too bored if not a bit angry waiting too long like that time. And oh, I remember he came... the patient I have been waiting for since one night and two hours ago. He made it. Many, many years later...Now it is still happening.

ACT OF MERCY

Feeding the hungry is an act of Mercy that God expect Christians to do as prerequisite to enter heaven. The following anecdote happened many years ago when we were still residing at Ayala Alabang Village. To continue, this act of Mercy was often neglected more so now that the hungry were so many, that if you feed some you still feel guilty that you didn't include many others.

But hungry people are not necessarily poor or those who have nothing to eat, but also people who, by trick of circumstances failed to go home to eat. Like the piano repairmen then who were working with our piano. They both lived in Novaliches, which was a good four-hour trip from Alabang during traffic hours. Going back and fort wastes a lot of time.

So, the chief repairman asked me if they could do overtime so they could finish their work. Added to that, a typhoon was raging at the moment. I agreed knowing fully well that they would have to be fed several meals. Of course, it was not included in the agreement but there was no restaurant nearby. They would definitely got hungry and I thought this was opportune time for our family to do an act of mercy. My wife, the business blood in her, was adamant about the idea knowing how she herself got hungry so often while doing businesses.

She acceded to my suggestion anyway but I could feel that she was doing it with a heavy heart and the act some how lost the element of mercy.

The irony of it was the fact that many times we almost force visitors to eat when we prepared even if the visitors were claiming they were full. I prayed that God would enlighten us about this.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

A HOUSE BLESSING

I was invited to a house blessing ( different from a plain 'house warming' which was nothing but gathering of people, without formal blessing). It was a big beautiful house, following provincial standards. All the furnitures and utensils were new, from the doormat to the curtains.

The decorations were many and varied. In fact, enough to confuse any observer not really because of the quantity but more so because of disparity. It was highly eclectic.

The fully decorated long buffet table was beaming with sumptuous foods mostly "hypertensives" and too rich to be damaging to health, well, like the foods people always offer during fiestas and similar occasions.

There were many visitors who were all impressed not only about the house but also about the source of money used in building the house. The house was very symbolic of the "sudden wealth syndrome", somewhat too showy for comfort.

On the side, I could feel something wrong. Some "very close relatives" were not around and I could feel the going on hassles among the clan. It was quite regrettable and pitiful that after giving out everything to make the house classy, colorful and really laud, was that in the final analysis what the priest blessed was not a home.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Loving (?) Your Enemy

Enemy is an individual or a group that is hostile toward another. Enemy is an opponent; someone who is against your principle; someone who puts you down. It is truly difficult to "love" your enemy but that is what we are all expected to do.

Enemy may also be interpreted as anything against your welfare, such as foods that harms your health or habits that destroy you as a person. In this sense, many of us are greatly "in love" with our enemies. So we eat fatty foods and other junks. Not only that - we overeat. We take too much sugar, alcohol and salt. We indulge in prohibited pleasures and we abuse even our natural resistance. This of course is done not in the name of love but as an abnormal craving to which we happily and voluntarily succumb.

The whole world is in great trouble because nobody seems to be doing the right thing. Situations and events are not getting any better in any part of the planet. They say these are signs that the world is about to end... They say that these have all been prophesied in the Bible and they are bound to happen no matter what we do.The whole process is part and parcel of the universal cycle. So be it.

ILLUSIONS

Illusions are configurations that one see instead of the real images. It is the misleading profile presented to the vision. It is a mistake idea. Illusions are not uncommon. They are experienced anytime, anywhere by anybody but more specially at night or when the place is not fully illuminated.

While jogging one early evening I saw an angel hovering over the gate of one house. I thought it was a huge toy or a caricature hanged there by the owner. As I came closer, I saw the angel moved gracefully, lighted only by the pale moonlight. It was only when I got close enough that I realized it was only an illusion formed by the overlapping shadows and leaves plus other factors.

I think ghosts, that many people see are illusions specially when the person concerned is already hoping or anticipating to see one... His mind works in such a way that what he imagines becomes a reality through the power of "Illusionism".

Sometimes I am beginning to entertain the idea that everything we see and everything that happens in this world are only illusions. The reality are deeply hidden in the hallow recesses of the subconscious mind.

Aside from optical illusions, there are many other forms of illusions, like what I experienced one time when a doctor promised to pick me up for a tripping to Cavite to see the lot that he was planning to buy. He never came or called up to cancel his appointment. Even that doctor could possibly be just an illusion.

HERBALS

Herbal concoctions are generally medicinal. Someone told me about her discovery after I suggested to her to include "talbos ng kamote" to her diet, as it would improve her hemoglobin. To the broth that remains in the kettle after consuming the young leaves, she added 'calamansi' juice and purplish color turned fuscia. Then she added a little sugar and it turned like a real red wine.

I shared my own experience with 'abocado' leaves giving rise to a similar concoction. I also recalled a nun who suggested to me 'cogon' root tea. This is done by boiling 'cogon' root, then adding 'calamansi' and a teaspoon of honey. She claimed that it improves virility and helps open the different chackras.

Said nun also advised me to frequently eat salad made of fresh tomatoes with "sibuyas tagalog" and the Chinese "huan soy". I am supposed to take such salad three times a day but I just couldn't tolerate "sibuyas and huan soy".

She explained to me about lapu-lapu fish. It doesn't die of sickness but almost, always, of old age... It always swims over other groups of fishes, thus the symbol of power. The nun suggested that at least weekly I should eat the head part (never the tail) of the fish as it is there were all its powers are contained.

Left over broth after boiling corn is also usually discarded, yet, this liquid is very good for the kidneys and the intestines. It is ironic that we are throwing away a lot of nutritious and medicinal liquids, such as rice washings will all its invigorating vitamin B complex.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The Protective White Light

We were on our way home one time, to the province via South Superhighway. As we turned toward Carmona interchange we heard a cracking sound as if the car's door was improperly locked. On checking, we discovered that our tubeless tires just burst. The driver changed the tire but it was 6:30 p.m. when darkness was beginning to blanket the world. The thought that we would be traversing Carmona, which that time have only few houses and many squatters, kept me a bit apprehensive.

Stopping on the spot for a longtime at night could be dangerous because of some unreasonable squatters in the area. And I knew that I only have my little penlight to use just in case, made me greatly scared while traveling without spare tire.

During moments like this, I try to dramatize my ideas, thinking of what is best to do depending upon the scenarios. As always, I have already surrounded the whole van and all of us inside with the protective white light of Christ. I repeated the mental visualization and felt secured. Before I knew it we were already at Aguinaldo Highway toward Silang. But it was raining and the night was dark.

Tagaytay was foggy that night. We could hardly see anything aside from the white line at the center of the road. I explained to my son the importance of tht white line which ordinarily doesn't seem to have any value at all.

My son enjoyed the "dreamlike" trip while we pass through cold "clouds". We forgot we didn't have spare tire until we reached home safe and sound.

RESTORATION

Restoration is putting or bringing back to its original appearance in order to make the object look like new or be in its previous good state. Thus, we restore a broken porcelain jar or a damaged object by doing our best to make the object look like the original.

Someone restored our broken porcelain planter and suddenly it looked so good as the original. Like magic, the defect disappeared and the broken object is back to normal.

This world would be much happier if things like broken friendship, broken camaraderie, broken marriage, broken clan relationships and other broken things could be restored back to their original conditions.

As we look around us, we see things that are rapidly breaking into pieces. Reputation, ambition, goal, hope, faith, career, everything. What is broken is not easily restored like restoring cracked porcelain. Furthermore, there are not enough restorer available and even if they are available, their services are not normally sought.

So, the world is littered with puzzle pieces that couldn't find their right position in the picture. Perhaps God is shaking the world to give it a new shape, a new configuration, a new puzzle for us creatures to put together.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

HAUNTED HOUSE ???

There was no buzzer or doorbell around. I instead saw advertisements written on styrofoam: Ice Candy for sale; Spicy pusit for sale; Spicy dilis for sale! All the notices indicated a busy housewife was living inside.

Knock, Knock! Silence...Knock, Knock, Knock! Silence... accross the street I saw a laundry woman looking at me so I approached her to inquire about the person I was looking for.She said that the owner just left to go somewhere but shall possibly come back very soon as usual. So, with my driver, I waited.

Yet just five minutes ago, the phone, the landline was busy. Yesterday, the phone was busy from 10:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. then at 4:00 p.m. it rung but no one answered.This morning I presumed that the owner is at home as the phone was busy.

After half-hour wait I returned to my house and dialed the landline of the house where I just came from. It was busy. It could be a case of phone disorder but still there was something weird and eerie in that house when I peeped through the windows. I was supposed to examine an insurance applicant living in that house. He worked at the Manila Hotel at night and comes back home at 7:00 a.m. I was there at 9:00 a.m.

EXCITEMENT

The other day I met a young couple. They were not really young for the woman was 31 years old. I didn't ask the man's age but he looked younger than the woman. Together they looked like friendly teen-agers, I didn't even suspect that they already have a child.

I enjoyed watching them as they jumpily giggled around the house, and told them so, as I gave them a parting advice: " I am truly fascinated by your joyfulness and a bit of carelessness, please don't quarrel".

Generally, newly married couples are happy. They are usually full of hope and future anticipations. If all couples could only be guided accordingly this world will be a little sunnier, a little happier and a little better.

Mine was a whirlwind wedding. The whole community predicted that our relationship at most could last only for six months. But we survived because whenever there is that temptation to make it quits I always tell my wife that through my counselling I have save a lot of marriages and I couldn't allow ours to go to the dogs. Last January 13, we celebrated our 37th Wedding Anniversary with five professional children and five happy grandchildren.

Perhaps what this world needs is more guidance counsellors, more seminars and more work shops on family life, but all these things would only be possible if the country's economy is enough to give every worker a decent and good-paying job.

Monday, October 1, 2007

A LITTLE BIT OF PURGATORY

"For seven years during my college days, I was never late". I told my children one day to emphasize to them the value of punctuality. It has been my habit ever since I was a little boy to always come on time. I think I am guided by the principle that it is better one hour too soon than one minute too late...

When I make an appointment with anybody, I see to it that I am always ahead or if the one I am supposed to meet doesn't come on time I usually give additional one hour allowance for possible unexpected delaying circumstances.

The "Filipino time" of being late never taught me a lesson. I insists on punctuality although lately I discovered that it is most of the time not practical. Like during a meeting or a seminar I often waste so much time waiting for others who generally come late. Of course I read a book or do 'origamni' while waiting but it is still irritating to be waiting.

The irony of it all is when I married a woman who is so busy, so hardworking and so involved with so many businesses that she is never on time. The more irony is even doubled when all my children seem to have inherited their mother's trait. To me it is a bit of purgatory that I must cope in this world. It is highly ironic, however, that I am beginning to enjoy it all.

RAIN-WATCHING

Rain-watching is fun. Everything you see is wet, fresh and alive. Car windows are closed and jeeps are covered with "trapals". You will wonder what is going on inside those tinted glasses and dripping "trapals".

It is possible that holdup men are making their day in one of those jeepneys. Perhaps a sick person is inside that car on the way to the hospital. Maybe some couples are quarrelling or lovers are romancing. It is very interesting to imagine all possible scenarios while I am quietly sitting in my office and looking through my windows.

I like to observe pretty girls in wet dresses, running carelessly as well as young men in their shorts and sandals running wet and wild to different directions.

Umbrellas of various sizes, colors and designs are like those blooming flowers in a newly watered garden, swaying here and there in wild abandon.

Even the garbage across the street look fresh while undergoing the natural process of decomposition. Sometimes it is nice to experience long rainy days. Even the grass looks happy quickly turning from yellow to green. Animals and insects dance and jump with joy; trees sprout new leaves; flowers bloom and fruits ripen. The more positive song for the rain must be: "Rain, rain...stay! With you around the whole world plays!.

ADAPTABILITY

Rain, endless rain, accompanied by flood all over the metropolis and many parts of the archipelago. Landslides are everywhere destroying houses, properties and lives. Workers are misplaced, students are confused and the rest if not sick, are simply unsure what to do.

Rain is God's grace. It is needed by the plants and by all living beings although when it rains really strong there are so many untoward happenings. Roofs start leaking, drainages begin clogging, flood overflows both on residential and commercial areas, vehicles are stranded on the roads, classes are suspended, electricity is disrupted and everybody has to make so many adjustments.

When it doesn't rain for a long time, drought follows and problems are greater. Whatever happens there are always advantages and disadvantages, good as well as bad effects but I think that is what makes life more interesting.

It is necessary that human beings be adaptable to their surroundings and to
the events happening around them. Nature is doing its duty according to the mandate of God, the Maker of everything Who is watching the world from the celestial point of view. He knows what is good for the most number of His creatures. God's voice is transformed into events when He wants to say something to us. Let us listen to what He is saying and let us leave everything to Him.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

My Wife in a Nutshell

Big and bloated like a balloon but is full of energy and business acumen that whatever she touches eventually turns into money.

Protective and caring but also a daring mother---from cooking experiment to endless fault-finding, to husband-blaming---she doesn't run out of novelty ideas.

She moves eternally as she handles everything, every time, even during supposed moments of prayers.

Eloquent with the organ languages and ailment dialogs, she is my lovable, "huggable", incredible and definitely unforgettable better half. (---80 words: END)

Eighty words are not really enough to fully describe my wife but I was limited to that when my children requested me to submit" a write-up about their mother.

They were inspired by the graduation write-ups requested of every graduating student then. As a rule, everything must be said in 80 words. It was quite challenging but in truth even in three words I can describe my wife: "I love her".

ENVY

Envy is resentment on another's advantage. It is a very negative feeling. It destroys friendship, one's future or even oneself. Once it is felt, it overwhelms the whole person and doesn't stop until the one affected is completely torn into pieces.

Yet, envy is so ordinary, so commonly experience by almost everyone most of the time. It is the reason why the poor is against the rich, the weak is mad at the strong, the ugly is angry at the beautiful and the old cannot accept the young. Yes, it is also the reason why some parents cannot tolerate the behavior of their siblings. Then they blame everything and everyone to cover-up his envy.

I realized this when I came home one afternoon and found my son playing basketball with his "barkada". They were noisy, jerky and jumpy. At first I was irritated but soon I felt how happy they were in what they were doing. They could have been doing other things and I would also be irritated not because what they were doing was socially unacceptable or intolerable but I have to acknowledge that it is because I didn't have a chance to be as happy as they are when I was their age. Now I understand.

Things have changed so much since our time. Every aspect of life has been completely transformed into something so new and so different that they become difficult to accept. But a deeper analysis reveals that it is not because those things are unacceptable but because in truth the old generations are envious that they didn't experience what the young ones are enjoying.

With the coming of the new technologies the gap between generations is getting wider unless you turned out to be like me who always follow the trend. Who said I am old???

TALKING BIRD

I went to a house were there was a talking bird. I was fascinated because the bird was very talkative. There were times when it seemed to be talking sense. I enjoyed listening because doing so was very relaxing.

While listening to bird-talks could easily be thrilling, listening to some speakers is not always so. Some speakers could be boring to death, and this includes priest delivering homilies. You certainly know someone, a friend maybe or perhaps a neighbor who talks a lot of nonsense yet non-stop sometimes.

A good speaker generally doesn't talk long or if he does he injects his speech with sense of humor that keeps the listeners asking for more. I used to be a humorous speaker when I was young. I have hosted so many public presentations. In fact I was often the life of the party during gatherings. Some friends told me how I am missed during wakes and other parties when I am not around.

Birds are interesting when they can talk, no matter what they say. Man is adorable when he can sing like a bird no matter what the song is. Both could be more interesting for doing what both should do.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

BACK TO HEALTH

There is a power behind every incident, every experience, or every change that happens on anything in this world. Behind every power is a Superpower that can influence anything. Any transformation then whether for better or for worse happen only with the permission of the Superpower.

The same Superpower, whom I know to be God, can revive anything if He so will. I am confident that all the negative symptoms I am feeling now will be reverse into positive by God, the only Superpower.

I am not submitting to a general medical check up because I know what they are going to do. At my age they will find many "things" that will only invite further examinations and possibly further confusions until I am finally drained of my remaining strength that even God may not be interested in reversing.

I am therefore leaving it to God --- my health, my life,my future. I am feeling weaker and it is now that I am in need more of God's assistance.

He gave me life. He guided me during my period of growth. He guided my youthfulness and all my life God paved my way. I am confident that He will guide me now. Whatever were the causes or origin of all my symptoms I am now feeling that God permitted to take place will also be reversed accordingly until I am finally back to my healthiest condition --- back to my youthfulness less the sins. (Note: This blog was written in my diary on August 9, 1991, 16 years ago. Since then I never had any medical check-up, never take any special medications and I am proud to say that I still feel so healthy physically,mentally,emotionally,psychologically and spiritually. We are what we think we are...hehe...that is according to the Principle of Mentalism))

AGING PROCESS

'Pulsus deficit' is the medical term for skipping of the pulse beat. It is the sign of something wrong in the circulatory system. As I took my pulse the other day I discovered that I have 'pulsus deficit'. Occasionally, there was 'pulsus magnus' (strong pulse), another sign of something wrong. Added to that I experienced occasional shortness of breath and sometimes incessant coughing.

I was also experiencing this vague headache that came on and off plus a terrible attack of sleepiness even while reading a book, watching the Television or hearing the Mass. All the symptoms that I was experiencing were signs of aging and there was no way that I could deny that I was getting older.

As I reminisced my past life, I didn't see something very colorful for I was never a genuinely romantic; I didn't see much adventure as I was never truly daring; I didn't see something poetic as I was never really artistic; I didn't see great spiritual enlightenment either as I was never blindly religious.

But I could see many shadows, silhouettes and configurations passing across my fading memory. I was really beginning to feel old--- but with a genuinely positive attitude in life I was anticipating a return to my youthfulness, if not in age, at least in my heart and in my mind.

Friday, September 28, 2007

GO SLOW

This was one experience I often recall whenever there was heavy traffic. By all indications the traffic was heavy then so instinctively my son who was driving the car turned to Bicutan overpass to the service road thinking that it was easier there. Midway, we were obliged to turn back as we saw other motorists doing the same. The Superhighway was still go slow, so my son decided to try the opposite service road and realized what a big mistake he did. We only moved at turtle's phase.

Drivers are analogous to newly wed couples who were trying to find way through a marital traffic mess. They tried to go this or that way through any vacant space just to find out that they were entangled in more difficult traffic jam.

Like a cautious couple, drivers should drive carefully and rightfully to reach their destinations on time.

My daughter whose class starts at 9:00 a.m. arrived La Salle at 11:45 a.m. while we reached Quiapo at exactly 12:00 noon, an hour late for my regular time to return to the New Alabang Village Medical Specialits' Clinic.

We heard from a radio announcer that a truck full of coconut spilled out on the road causing the hell of a traffic.

Even in real life one bad or unlucky "driver" can contaminate all others. Our duty is to hold on tightly and calmly on our own motor vehicle---in the case of our analogy---the matrimonial car, because we are traveling daily in a very difficult traffic jam of life.

HOMEWORKS

Homeworks and assignments were parts and parcels of student's life but when a teacher assign projects in every subject and homeworks everyday, he was not being helpful and he was not really teaching but rather confusing his students. I realized this when my children were still in the elementary and high school.

I noticed my freshman son was getting very temperamental one night. I decided to find out and I discovered that in science alone he was expected to cut pictures and write a two-page reaction, typewritten in long bands on each of the following subjects: Geology, Hydrology, Oceanology, Meteorology, Astronomy, and Volcanology. Did the teacher think anybody can really do it correctly in one week? In Christian Living at about the same time, my son's homework was to look for and cut out pictures of Churches in the Philippines.

I knew there were calendars that carry pictures of old churches but where to find those calendars then was another problem.

Aside form homeworks and projects students were expected to join field trips on every subject matter discussed in school.

I congratulated my children just for passing.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

LIVING FOREVER

Another relative died and several others were in the hospital. For four consecutive weekends I was doing vigils in my town mate's wakes. I was already tired writing about deaths, so instead I am quoting a most unique last will and testament. This was sent to the Philipine STAR by Chartel Ylanan who copied it from the October 11, 1989 issue of the Visayan Daily STAR. The author was anonymous.

"Living Parts Left Behind At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function, and that, for all intents and purpose, my life has stopped. When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of machine. And don't call this my "deathbed". Call it my "bed of life", and let my body be taken from it to help others led fuller lives.Give my sight to man who has never seen sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a pretty woman.

Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain. Give my blood to a teen-ager who has been pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week. Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk. Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of the rain against the windows. Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flower grow.

If you may bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all prejudices against my fellowmen.Give my soul to God. If by chance you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I WILL LIVE FOREVER. Lord,thank you for the joy of knowing that you love me! Thank you also for family and friends. And thank You for the privilege of life itself. Help me live each day for You".

Life Insurances

All of a sudden there were so many applicants for insurance. Was it because the risk to life were so many that people want to insure the future of their families?

I honestly do not believe in life insurance. First, because the one insured never enjoys the benefits and in case of death the heirs, most of the time quarrel over the money involved. I knew a lot of families broken because of insurance benefits. I've also seen ambitions and crumpled, dreams that dwindled and even lives destroyed because of the false promises of insurance benefits.

But as a medical examiner of insurance applicants, insurance was doing me a lot of good. Most of the patients (clients) were generally healthy and the medical fee was almost always assured.

I examine clients for Philamlife, Sunlife of Canada and Aetna. I used to be medical examiner too, of Insular Life but there were not so many agents for that company.

As medical examiner I have a chance to meet people from all walks of life. Some of them became my regular patients, others turned out to be lot buyers and still others bought home-decor items as well s RTW item from my wife. Though I didn't believe in insurance as it was conceived I have to admit that people who believed were doing me a lot of good.

THE BLACK SHEEP

He is a sixteen year old six footer and ruggedly handsome, deepened by some fresh and raw pimples trying to ruin his cheeks.

His mother referred him to me because he often takes money from her bag. He did it several times and the mother was worried.

During the informal interview he related to me his story in between cute shy smiles. So, he admitted he was the "black sheep" of the family. He was completely misunderstood by everyone and he felt he was an outcast.

When he did wrong no one forgets but when he did right, no one remembers. No one noticed him at home and nobody gives him importance. In short he was craving for attention and a little care, a very typical dilemma encountered by teen-agers.

I explained to him that what he was feeling and what he was experiencing was normal. He was in the transition period from boyhood to manhood. He won't agree that he was still a child but he was aware that he wasn't yet an adult.

Somehow I was able to create a rapport between us so he submitted to hypnosis. He turned out to be a very good subject. He is scheduled to come back for more follow-up sessions as he was impressed during the first session.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Life Goes On

A mother died. It was a painful death. She was hanging the laundry outside the house, when she heard her grandchild crying. She run to find out but she slipped on the wet cement, fell down and hit her head. Just like that. She was fifty years old.

She was the fifth in two weeks who died young and suddenly. God must be saying something to the people of our community: that life is uncertain while death is definitely coming in no time at all.

For the orphans and others she left behind it was a sad moment but for the tired mother it was a transition, a rebirth. For death is very much part of life. It is a divine door where one passed from one level of existence into another, which is generally a better one.

Only the physical body dies. Life goes on beyond the grave because life is a quality of the soul and the soul cannot die. The soul will experience different stages of "death" on its process of purification towards perfection before joining the Creator.

Those who died unprepared remain as earthbound entities doing their chores when alive. When perceived, they are what we call ghosts.

RECONCILIATION

Reconciliation is the establishment of harmony. It means forgiveness and at the same time forgetting the offense. It is accepting back the enemy. It is renewal of friendship.

One of the most important qualities of marital harmony is the capability of the couple to accept or apply reconciliation. It is the test of maturity and intelligence. It is the binding force of love; the string that keeps two bodies together.

He who is capable of loving must also be capable of forgiving, for then he becomes capable of living a truly Christian life. People who love each other have reasons to feel that way. When they quarrel they both become unreasonable, as they are both covered by a thick shadow of misunderstanding. They begin to feel nothing but the negative qualities of the other and unless the spirit of reconciliation is given a chance to work everything will be gone forever.

Reconciliation is a human quality because it is based on reason and only human beings are rational. Animals live together but animals also kill each other. On the other hand, humans forgive their enemies and this is the very quality that separates men from animals.

MISCOMMUNICATION

Miscommunication is the failure of two parties to send message correctly. It is the inability to reach the other one. When there is miscommunication or worse still, non-communication, something is wrong somewhere.

Maybe the sender didn't send the the message correctly or perhaps the receiver didn't receive rightfully, but whatever is the cause, the result is sometimes catastrophic. What happens when couples miscommunicate? When teachers fail to reach the students or when friends misunderstand each other? A lot of unpleasant events follow. It can be as simple as snobbish silence or as destructive as a full-blown war.

Miscommunication started when men turned so proud that they planned to build a tower to reach God in heaven. God saw what were in their hearts so He willed that each one speak a different language. No one could understand what the others were saying and they were all humbled. The tower of Babel was never finished.

Misunderstanding due to miscommunication is very common nowadays and that is why the world is always in trouble. Even modern communication facilities didn't help solve the problem. Yet, if man can only nourish fully his sense of humor, so many misunderstandings and miscommunication could be felt and dealt with in a more positive manner.