Tuesday, July 31, 2007

HAPPINESS

While waiting for the heavy traffic in Baclaran to move, instead of getting irritated and bored, I started people-watching. I immediately noticed two young women happily eating banana-Q, unaffected by the continuous movements of passers-by. I asked myself, what is it that makes people happy? I just looked around and I saw endless answers to my question. HAPPINESS IS:

>A young boy biting on a half-bitten "mamon" left over.
>A beggar hearing a coin-sound dropped into her tin can.
> A two hand amputee balancing cigarette between stumps of arms.
>A beggar with his left foot inserted into a pressed milk can to produce rhythmic sound while
mouth plays with a plastic harmonica.
>A jeepney driver successfully inching his way out of a traffic maze.
>A volunteer traffic aide who, just solved a difficult traffic puzzle.
>A middle-aged man with portions of his hair tied with a rubber band.
>A watch-repairer behind his 1x2x4cabinet.
>An LRT first timer who just discovered how to use a turnpike.
>A tired soldier buying a card of Birthday Blessings.
>A "kakanin"-vendor who just sold all her "tiendas".
>A sweepstakes ticket vendor who, just convinced someone to buy ticket.
>A "sampaguita" vendor with fresh "sampaguita" garlands singing her way to prospective
customers.
>A watcher like me who just enjoys watching happy people everywhere.

BIG GAMBLER I AM

I am not a gambler in the ordinary sense of the word. Yes, I buy sweepstakes and lotto tickets every now and then; indulge in "jueteng" occasionally and bet little amounts of money once in a while. Just like that so people say I am boring because I am not daring.

Yet, no one is really fully aware what a "BIG GAMBLER" I am for I think I am gambling for heaven.

We are always talking about heaven and hell; about good and evil but very few are truly believing that there are such places as heaven, where those who do good go when they die, and hell, where those who do bad end up.

That is where I gamble and put out my best bet... eternal life itself. It is indeed very simple and I want to be a sure winner.

If I do good while living on earth then die to realize that there are no heaven and hell, I have nothing to lose as people will remember the good things that I did in life.

Now if I do bad (evil) while alive then I die and find out about realities of heaven and hell, I will have no choice as I will be thrown to eternal damnation while the memory of my evil deeds will linger in everyone's memory. To play safe I"ll always do good and expect to win my eternal reward.

Speech at a Breakfast Club

I think you will all agree with me that both the climatic condition and the political situation are already very hot and I am quite hesitant to talk to you this morning about, of all things, fire! When a friend invited me to share with you some of my experiences in fire-walking and with the fire-walkers, I was about to say no but on second thought I told myself that perhaps this is the most appropriate time when everybody is quite accustomed to the global warming or the El Nino phenomenon. Who knows, learning how to walk on fire may yet be our protective coat against the burning effect of global warming.

To begin with, I want you to know that I am not a fire-walker. In fact, if there is anything I fear most, it is fire. My mother used to tell me when I was a little boy, never to play with fire, because it is always associated with something bad and dangerous, with evil, and yes, with hell and the devil. But I was born and grew up in a place where fire-walking is as common as the common colds.

Alfonso, the town were I came from is not very remote. It is only a stone's throw from Manila, for it is only next to Tagaytay City. Most of you have been to that place where the once popular Rodea Farm Estate is located. Now, in that town, there is a Barrio called Marahan and in that Barrio there is a street named Pier or harbor. It is called Pier because it is the place where most 'Barcos' live. 'Barcos' here do not mean the ships or ocean liners. They refer to the Fire-walkers who call themselves 'Barcos' to signify boat as an offshoot of Noah's Ark. Among themselves they have organized an exclusive 'cultic' group called 'Magsasanghiyang' who claimed to be the direct descendants of Noah's family who survived the Universal Deluge. How they reached Barrio Marahan of Alfonso, Cavite, God only knows.

'Sanghiyang' is a thanksgiving ritual for ancestral offering first done by Noah's family after the flood. If you remember, after the deluge Noah built an altar for the Lord then he took all cattle and fowls that were clean, and offered holocaust upon the Altar. (Gen. VII:20). While the offering was burning the family rejoiced around the fire. This time their descendants, the Barcos of Alfonso do not only dance around the fire but actually walk and dance on it..

My first encounter with the group was way back in 1952 when I was assigned as one of the PMT cadets to guard the glowing charcoal in preparation for fire-dancing. I was so amazed by what I saw then that the experience never left my mind until I became a full pledge Medical Practitioner and even until I learned to practice Hypnotherapy.

I was thinking that maybe these fire-walkers are under hypnosis while doing the ritual. To find out, I tried it myself after asking the leader's permission to allow me to walk over those glowing charcoals. Of course, I didn't hypnotize myself, yet I wasn't burn nor harmed at all. So, I got more interested and that interest led me to do a research on fire-walking. Being a medical practitioner, I consider myself a scientist but I limited myself, and my research to our local fire-walkers by joining them as often as possible and by encouraging others to try it themselves.

How one becomes a 'Barco' is an interesting process that takes years of trial and spiritual exercises. The latter consist of several stages.

At this point I am afraid I have heated you enough and before I bake you further I am inviting you to ask a few questions, although the best way to satisfy your own curiosity is to personally see it, feel it while doing it yourself.

Monday, July 30, 2007

ZARZUELA

One time I chanced to watch a Zarzuela, "Paglipas ng Dilim", together with my wife and a daughter at the CCP Little Theater.

To most of the present generation, a Zarzuela is a corny kind of show but to me, it was more than just a show. I looked beyond and behind the stage.

As the performers do their individual rolls with precision and continuity I saw many days of practice, a patient director and a lot of tantrums among the crew as well as the participants themselves.

The musical director and the musicians themselves must have spent many days and nights of rehearsals. The props men, the art director, make-up artists, everyone involved must have given so much of themselves for a show that will only be branded corny by some juveniles.

I salute the artists who, kept on reviving the Filipino art. It has always been in my blood to see shows that depict Filipino art, culture and heritage but money was most of the time the opposing factor. This time thank to a friend who gave us the complimentary ticket.

REMINDER

I felt very sleepy yesterday afternoon after lunch. My eyes were closing by themselves and I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing. So, I positioned myself comfortably, closed my eyes and took a short nap. When I opened my eyes I felt refreshed and vigorous.

Sleepiness is a protective mechanism. It is nature's way of telling us to rest. And so is tiredness. In fact, all these negative feelings that we used to hate are God's ways of whispering to us what to do.

When we feel hungry, God is telling us to eat. Likewise, when we are thirsty or dizzy or having cramps or experiencing headaches. We are all being reminded to do the necessary positive act even if they have to be done passively.

When we are feeling guilty, God must be reminding us to repent while when we are feeling empty it is about time we do something so that God will pour His graces on us.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

CHANGING COLORS

Once I watched an artist at the Madrigal Center in Ayala Alabang while designing a print for a coming art exhibit. He was using a black 'Cartolina' and white paint but every time the paint touches the black 'cartolina' it slowly turned pinkish and he was getting furious and very uneasy.

That was the time I came in so I was tempted to ask: "Why do you look so mad?" He explained to me the unexpected color changes. "Why get mad?" I asked further. "That is a discovery! You don't know how complicated the chemical reactions that took place for that color change to occur and you feel sad about it?. Don't you see, the color is giving out beautiful symbol of love?"

It was the month of February then, the Valentine's month of love which was symbolized by the color pink. That time war was also going on at the Gulf and that exactly was the color effect of blood-sand mixture.

But the artist who is sponsoring the exhibit, according to him, was an old man who won't probably be flattered by the resulting color at all.

At that time the color was further changing into a darker hue, yes it was turning into old rose and who won't like old rose color?

The artist's eyes brightened, a smile appeared on his face. After all, that color could be very well the motif for a wedding. How about old rose as the icing for the wedding cake?

Saturday, July 28, 2007

A Certain Smile

This happened a very, very long time ago. In fact Senator Loren Legarda was just beginning in Television as host of the then popular PEP TALK. She just interviewed me about the Fire Walkers of Alfonso, Cavite. It was October 6, 1986.

That night I was armed with an 'instamatic' camera (no digital yet that time) and extra roll of film, just in case. I prepared myself several days ahead of the very special event. I knew many were as eager as I was for the occasion and I intended to capture in picture every detail of it.

It took nature half a century to prepare me for that show, my first T.V. appearance: an interview by Loren Legarda, no less of the very popular PEP TALK . ABS-CBN channel 2 had experienced years of Martial Law and one revolution before I was finally discovered and when the anticipated moment came, heaven fell on my head.

It was that unusual, unannounced power failure again, a possible offshoot of the unusual and unannounced typhoon 'Oyang'. It was also an unusual time in my life when I hoped the whole country was in the dark so that the T.V. event would be postponed.

It was already 9:45 p.m. and no lights yet. I was supposed to appear on T.V. at 10:00 p.m. I was beginning to wonder why nature had to punish me that way after having done well all my life. But honestly I was not complaining, in fact, I was already in the mood to pardon whoever was at fault when suddenly lights were on and and so was my T.V. set just at exactly the time when PEP TALK show ended.

The new experience taught me new lessons. That this world was not only a valley of tears but also a hill of uncertainties. Nothing was certain and one must be ready all the time. Things just happen when you least expect them to happen, not far from the habit of a fly swimming on top of your coffee when you were about to drink it. If you were not in a position to face the worst at all time you were apt to disintegrate into pieces.

So, I swallowed my disappointment without bitterness. Thank God it was only a simple T.V. show which I could still watch on 'Betamax' because I told my son to tape it. Bigger disappointments could hurt more.

True enough when I opened the radio the following morning I was greeted by the news that "the whole Manila was under water". I couldn't fathom the thousands of possible disappointments of thousands of people and families that would be affected. My experience the other night was just a drop of water at the back of China Sea.

I came to think of it. So many people were giving too much attention to little pains until they were magnified into mountain sizes and beyond human solutions.

If man could only be realistic and practical; if man could only face daily trials with open minds and understanding hearts; then there shall be less quarrels among men, less wars among nations, less heartaches among selves and peace would be attainable.

When the time comes I wouldn't care much about seeing myself on T.V., I wouldn't curse Meralco for unannounced power interruptions for after all, dancing on fire, even on T.V. and with Loren Legarda as partner wouldn't leave a good taste if the rest of the country was submerged under water. I would rather be an instrument to inspire people to face the uncertainties of everyday with a certain smile.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Living With One Hand

We, who were born with two healthy hands were indeed very lucky. I just realized this two years ago when I experienced and accidental hard fall that dislocated my left wrist. It was a very, very hard slide on a slippery, mossy cemented pathway. It was good I didn't hit my head. My closed umbrella helped a bit in protecting my right hand too.

I didn't lose my presence of mind though, so I quickly instructed my niece to do a hard pull on my hand and..."click"... the dislocation was reduced. The wrist bones were realigned. This simple maneuver if not done correctly and on time could cause a lot of medical and surgical problems if not a lot of money.

So, my left hand was temporarily disabled. Supported by a sling, it was not painful and there was no swelling although every time I moved my fingers severe pain was triggered at the dislocation site which of course was quite understandable. I had to maximize the usefulness of my right hand. Meantime I also discovered hundred and one limitations.

It was difficult to wash and to use my face towel to sponge-bath myself and certainly sponging my right armpit was simply impossible. I could neither button my pants nor secure my belt without any help.

Brushing my dentures was a Herculean job as well as cooking and washing the dishes. Ironing the cloths was a climb to Mt. Everest. Simple eating without the aid of a fork was very uneasy. Furthermore, sleeping was always a dreamless night as it was very difficult to find a correct position without experiencing pain. Typing on the computer was entirely a different ritual.

But there were many interesting discoveries too. Like I could wash dishes by putting them one by one on a basin while soaping and sponging each one before finally rinsing under a running faucet. I could wash a face towel by squeezing it over soap under a pail of water before a final hard squeeze then running it over my body. I also discovered that by putting the handle of the dustpan between my knees I could easily sweep in the trash and the dust.

I could put on my writs watch with the help of my chin to lock it. I learned to eat without fork by tilting my plate and pushing my spoon to catch the food. I learned a lot of other special maneuvers and rituals though I wondered if these could all be possible if my right hand was the one damaged.

Now I knew why God created us with two hands... because one would hardly be sufficient. As I review the song, I have two hands, where a line says "clean little hands are good to see". I would like to add: "Big healthy hands are a necessity".

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Bright Darkness

Whenever cursing the darkness is fashionable like during wartime, even the sunset turns very beautiful. It gives way to the green leaves to fold slowly to be able to rest in preparation for photosynthetic activities tomorrow. It allows the dainty colony of flowers to peep through the coming darkness. It enhances the silhouette of leafless twigs and moving shadows, even a leaning crucifix on top of a bell tower on the side of a light less church.

It will take infinity for the gray of the approaching night to be completely engulf by darkness, for darkness is not given a chance to come as the stars begin to shine and the moon showers the world with sweet and lovely brightness.

The absence of artificial light during brownouts only brightens the light emanated by God, for God is light and God is love and God is life.

Life goes on even in the dark as night birds start to fly, as other night lives begin their "day" to mingle romantically with night blossoms among night plants and night lights. It is darkness that makes night bright.

H_O_P-E

There is hope for as long as there is life; for that matter even among lifeless things. Hope for a very old furniture to be bought and appreciated by antique lovers; hope for warring nations to reconcile for the sake of peace; hope for cancer patients to discover the miracle cure; hope for the infertile couple to find the secret potion.

Hope, unless given up, is the life-giving spirit in every man's heart or even in the instinct of animals. Hope for the egg to hatch and be converted into a chick; hope for the caterpillar to become a butterfly; hope for the snipping puppy to be able to bark; hope for a baby bird to fly at last; hope for the blind to see even in the dark.

Hope is the guiding principle for salvation; hope for a sinner to repent and to be a saint; hope for the dying to be reborn into eternal life; hope for the dead to resurrect; hope for love to incarnate; hope for energy to create; hope for the poet to be inspired; hope for prayer to reach God; hope for sunshine to illuminate the earth; hope for a child to grow; hope for the teacher to impart knowledge; hope for the old to share his wisdom; hope for the youth to anticipate his future.

Let us all continue hoping for the best in this troubled world. Hope is our salvation.

A Bad Good Day*

OFF LINE was boldly written on a cardboard and hanged in front of the ATM machine.

"You may withdraw inside", said the guard but once inside I was told by the teller that I could only withdraw my money from a bank at the next town, a good 30 kilometers from where I was standing.

"You may also try the other bank across the street", volunteered the guard again. But when I went there my card was rejected by the machine.

I returned to the original bank, inquired when it could possibly be ON LINE. I was assured that after lunch it would be ready. So, I proceeded to Jollibee, ordered spaghetti and killed my time there. Suddenly, it rained and I didn't bring a raincoat or an umbrella. How could I go back to the bank?

I prepared myself for another horrendous experience. I just composed myself to be ready for the worst. "What could this day bring to me?" The money I was going to withdraw was very important to me because it was money, voluntarily offered by my son from his first formal earning in a foreign country.

When the rain stopped I walked nearer to the bank to find out if the armored car that will bring the money was already there. Seeing that the OFF LINE sign was still hanging I killed my time at 7/11 convenience store. And before the rain comes again I moved to the lobby of the bank to wait for the armored car. After about half an hour waiting the armored car came. That was the first time I closely observed how money was transferred from the car to the ATM machine.

I took another half hour for the security guards to scrutinize the vicinity before they opened the armored car. After that another fifteen minutes was lost before the the machine finally functioned. I was the first one to do the withdrawal.

That money smelled so sweet. I Thanked my son for it and told him I will use the money to buy something very important to me.

Professional Rape Victim???

I was surfing the internet at one corner of the principal's office of a private school nearby. From the corner of my eye I saw a familiar lady with a pretty face entered and proceeded directly to the principal.

I overheard her telling an incident involving her newly hired maid who, I learned later, was recommended by the principal about a month ago.

I gathered from her side of the story that the maid reported to the police for she was allegedly raped by the fiancee of the pretty lady. After a long talk the principal called my attention and was invited to join them. I listened and later offered my two cents worth of advice. I told her to first keep cool, calm and collected because in gossipy cases like this "if you lose your head you eventually lose the case". Then I reminded her that a court case is always long, expensive, tiresome, full of hassles and at the end the loser is left naked while the winner is also left only with her underwear.

I also gave my own impression of the possibility that the maid was probably a member of a syndicate who could be a "professional rape victim". Although I didn't discharge the possibility that she was really raped. The lady was still fuming with anger, feeling that she was greatly abused by that maid in spite of how they treated her with kindness.

I reminded her never to quarrel with people below her level because "being more intelligent than them, you will have to argue in their level, and in their level, they will always beat you", I said.

Anyway I allowed her to ventilate whatever was in her mind. Her sister was just quietly listening, interrupting every now and then. She said she was a practicing catholic who believes in intercessions of saints, so, I advised her to seek the intercession of St. Dimas for instant resolution to her problem. St. Dismas was the saint instantly canonized by Jesus Christ before He died on the cross. When He said to the "good thief", "Amen, amen, I say to thee: Today, you will be with Me in Paradise". I finally cheered the lady by telling her that after all the confusions, the hassles and the misunderstandings, she should be thankful, simply because she was not the maid.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

NOTHING

Having none to do and not knowing how to go about it I decided to write just to find out that not knowing what to write is even more unpleasant.

Occasions like this occurs to anyone at one moment or another... a time when one's mind is just BLANK; when one stares sharply at nothing and when nothing means everything, and the only thing that really matters. When nothing seems to exist as something; when nothingness is eternal and eternity is like hell.

This period of nothingness in one's life is a very fearful moment. It could kill you as it has killed thousands of lives before.

It appears that man's greatest enemy is none-existence. Yes, NOTHING!!! Nothing is a great terror occupying every open space. It fills the empty mind, it substitutes for anything. It doesn't push or pull but it is quick in replacing any form of absence of anything in existence.

God did not create nothing. In fact He created everything out of nothing. Likewise, God did not create evil nor darkness. He only created LIGHT AND GOOD, but in the absence of light, even darkness seems to exist because like nothing, darkness occupies any minute space left by light.

God filled man with GOODNESS out of his kindness. But man is disobedient and carefree. Every time man throws away a 'good', evil quickly substitutes just the way an empty glass is suddenly FULL OF NOTHING. Then man curses God for being unfair, for allowing evil. This clearly shows that man doesn't commit sin per se, he only throws away good, which is immediately replaced by evil (sin). Man doesn't tell a lie, he only throws away a truth. Man doesn't hate, he only removes love.. Man doesn't die, he only fails to live.

"Be not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good". (Romans 12:12) It is always better to light a candle to curse the darkness.

Your very EXISTENCE is enought to keep you rejoicing. No matter how little and useless you think you are, don't dare throw yourself away... for you are something good. Make use of your goodness. Do something constructive, fill yourself with God's graces around you. Don't ever allow nothingness to predominate by keeping the very little you, INTACT.

Keeping yourself intact, is the only way to keep the good in you, intact; the only way to keep you free from evil; the only way to keep the image of God in you. In like manner that a drop of dew contains all the elements of water as complete as all the water at the Pacific Ocean.

Live your life, be it big or small. You are a complete being entirely different from anybody else. You are in every way very special, a unique mystery, a masterpiece of God. Oh, what a wonderful YOU!!!

Yes, you are not-nothing and there is no excuse why you should allow yourself to be conquered by nothingness. You are not darkness and so always keep the rays of your light, no matter how minute a flicker it is emitting. You are full. Your light is as complete as that of the sun with all the colors of the rainbow. Your goodness is the portion of God in you. Keep it always.

Photo-Finish

I dislike a photo-finish way of doing things, yet, that was exactly what I experienced that day in 1992. Everything happened so fast and was done so hurriedly as if we were always running away from a time bomb about to explode.

In as far as I was concerned I prefer being hours too soon than a second too late. I felt so tense when I was doing things at the eleventh hour. I always experienced headache and palpitation when I was hurrying. I just felt very sick. I was not quite used to catchings seconds.

My son, Paul, was one of the La Salle delegates to Mexico. He was scheduled to leave at 4:00 O'clock that afternoon, together with sixteen others.

In the process, there were so many hassles. He was at first denied U.S. visa and even the Mexican visa was not easily approved. He got both only in the afternoon of the day before. That morning he was supposed to barrow an uncle's coat, buy religious souvenir articles, get his ticket, buy shoes, get his insurance, hear mass and fix a lot of other things.

Added to that, the traffic was plain terrific and it was raining. We didn't know which one to do first. So, after the usual heated discussion and argument, we went directly to the travel agent, who even quarreled with my wife.

Without settling the problem with the plane ticket, we proceeded to Landmark where Paul bought 2 pairs of shoes and other needs. It was pass 11:00 a.m. when my wife arrived from the Travel Agency, via the Insurance Company. Meantime, my son was needed at La Salle at exactly 1:00 p.m. and we were still in Makati.

It was quarter to 12 when we reached La Salle. I went directly to Quiapo to buy spiritual bouquet at Sta. Cruz Church for a dead relative. I was back to La Salle at quarter to 1 without souvenir items as it was previously agreed that Paul would buy them at La Salle.

We all went to bed late that night and had only light lunch that noon but Paul arrived at the airport just on time - 2:00 p.m. - minus the religious souvenirs - a photo-finish indeed.

We were back to Ayala Alabang at 5:45 p.m. with just 15 minutes left to attend the wake of my wife's dead relative whom we were told was moving to the province from the Sta. Susana Chapel at 4:00 p.m. but was rather transferred at 2:00 p.m.

Back home we had to call the repairman for the computer, which would be needed that night by my daughter for her thesis.

My youngest son was sick and I needed to buy 'calamansi' after bringing the computer to the repair shop.

As I was writing this note it was 7:45 p.m. in front of Pizza Hut near La Salle University where I was waiting for my daughter who was coming out from class anytime.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Little MIracles

I was already beginning to feel irritated. It was already past 10:00 a.m.. I had an agreement with my wife tha she would come back before 10:00 a.m. so we could be on time to meet our son who was then coming out from a retreat at La Sallette in Silang, Cavite.

Then I saw a mango leaf falling gently down from the twig where it just detached itself. It hanged for awhile on top of another branch before it finally fell down. In that simple miracle I saw God's power. I realized that perhaps my wife was also trying her best to be on time but several other miracles were possibly happening along the way that prohibits her from being back too soon.

I knew my son might be coming out without parents to meet him much more, without food to eat. But I was confident that through God's miracle he would be provided and he would understand even if we came late to fetch him.

If a little falling leaf could temporarily be prevented by a little obstacle to fall down the ground directly, I was sure God had a very good reason to delay the coming of my wife on expected time.

Waiting could kill but if you leave to God the decision you will feel good. Later, in spite of everything that happened we arrived just before my son came out from the closing mass. This happened in 1991 but I still remember.

Instant Editor

I have just swallowed my first bite of lunch when my helper told me about several persons waiting for me at the terrace. I went down and immediately noticed some pious ladies, we locally call 'manangs' waiting for me

The spokesperson quickly flattered me by saying that they were there for something only me can correctly do. As it turned out one of them just composed a song for Saint Claire but the Parish Priest objected to some phrases and words. So, I was supposed to do some editing as I was known for that kind of job.

After reading the song I thought I could easily compose a new one with entirely new text but they didn't want to hurt the feelings of the original lady who wrote the lyrics.

I was supposed to revise and edit the song but at the same time must keep intact the supposed ideas of the original writer.

It was not a very easy job, but as always, people came to me for jobs not easy to do.

This was another mental calisthenics that challenged my mentality. But I was not complaining for this was also my way of preventing Alzheimer's disease.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Too Punctual

I used to say "it is better one hour too soon than one minute too late". If I possessed any good quality, it was punctuality... sometimes to a fault. I always came too early for an appointment whether it was with a child.

As a result, it almost always happened during a call for a meeting that I was already tired and bored before the other participants came with that overused lousy excuse "filipino time".

I took up my Medical course for seven years and in that length of time I was never late, rain or shine. The problem was when there was typhoon and I was already in school before they announced 'no class today'.

There was a feeling of fulfillment when you knew you already made it on time and was willing to wait for other party. I just enjoyed anticipating and my enthusiasm was greatly enhanced whenever I was sure I have arrived for an appointment.

A schedule with a doctor, to me was of utmost importance though some doctors don't also come on time just as some priests delay their mases. Today I have an appointment with my Eye Doctor at 7:30 a.m. but as always, I was one hour too soon. The 8th floor of the Medical Arts Tower of the New Medical City, where the office of my Ophthalmologist was located, was still empty. Empty as a vacuum though every now and then I could hear extended announcements through the paging system. Without that sound, the atmosphere was completely eerie, that I felt as if a ghost was going to appear any moment from a corner to chase me. I went to the comfort room, which also appeared totally abandoned. Not a single janitor was seen doing his chores around.

Thoughts played in my mind. What if there was sudden brown out and the elevator cannot be used? What if a bomb was planted somewhere and suddenly burst in great wildness? And what if they thought I planted the bomb? What if there was sudden earthquake and I was caught in a file of rabble alone?

I wanted to go back to the lobby and was about to do so when the secretary arrived with her pretty morning smile. Suddenly I was not alone. Soon the whole building would be alive and teeming with people. I would surely be the first one to be examined and I felt so victorious that after all I deserve all the priorities for coming one hour too soon.

While I was being examined, other patients started accumulating at the Eye Center laboratory that when my time came I was scheduled to come back after lunch. There was no way I could be even one minute earlier.

I killed my time by having coffee, praying at the chapel and just walking around until it was time for me to undergo Flourescuen Angiography. I was told that a companion was extremely necessary. As a doctor myself I knew, because allergy to the dye could cause emergencies. Further more, after dilating the pupils of my eyes my vision would be blurred. But I have already taken my anti-allergy in the morning and I thought I could manage everything alone.

The ophthalmic technologist inquired if I had children and why no one accompanied me. I said I have five but they have their own things to do and didn't know they would be needed. My wife had to attend to some business too. If it was impossible to do the procedure without a companion, I said, I was willing to hire an off-duty aide or janitor to accompany me afterwards. As it turned out I was able to make it without a companion. Another triumph.

My wife who promised to come back and be with me during the procedure at 1:00pm called at 3:30 p.m. announcing that she was already at the Cash and Carry and would be with me soon.

I have already finished two cups of coffee and my vision was gradually getting clearer when my wife came.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

When Things Go Wrong

One day, the gate valve guarding the water pipe going to the water tank had a leak. Together with the gardener I tried to fix it but to no avail. I looked for a 'tubero', which took many hours, through the help of several people, before I reached his residence.

Simple. I was told to buy a new gate valve but when it was installed the water still failed to reach the tank. There must be obstruction somewhere. The 'tubero' tried his might but no obstruction was discovered. Sensing that he was not an experienced one I tried to look for another 'tubero' the next day who just suggested that I buy a better brand as the previous one easily fails to do its job. But still no water flowed to the tank. Further scrutiny led to seemingly failing booster pump, as it was already old. A new pump was installed after two days but still no water reached the tank.

Thinking that the problem was probably from the main line I went to the local NAWASA Office to request that my water line please be checked. Two 'tuberos' came to check the line, which was found to be in good order. There must be a leaking line within my lot. A new exposed line was installed and yes it worked well but only up to the first tank, so a new line was installed going to the other tank. For that simple gate valve leak I spent almost P7,000.00.

I was about to say good grief when I discovered that my television set had no sound, my cell phone had weak battery, my personal computer wasn't working, my blood sugar monitor was not functioning and my tape recorder was also out of order. Added to that, part of my roof was leaking and my toilet won't flush.

Instead of cursing the world I decided to pamper myself with hot coffee when I discovered that my automatic boiler was grounded and wasn't functioning either. It could have been acceptable if my LPG tank wasn't empty.

With a heavy heart I went out to my garden directly to the Scream Out Area. Not actually to scream but just to sit quietly and while away my irritations. Then I heard the melodious chirping of a bird from among the bamboos. I didn't actually see the bird but it performed so well that for a while I thought it was the original 'Ibong Adarna',the magic bird that could put a person to sleep then turns him into stone.

I stayed there for a while imbibing the plant 'prana' every time I inhale, also letting out all my negative vibrations to be absorbed by nature while quietly listening to the sound of nature. It didn't take me too long to realize that in silence and confidence lies my strength", for after that I felt so energized, so strong, so confident in myself that I thought I could face any person or any situation without fear. I moved to the Meditation Site, sat quietly, and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened my eyes I then walked around very slowly to complete a crooked figure of 8 through the rugged pathway before I settled to the Terrace of Merriment where finally I had a chance to enjoy a cup of hot coffee.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Under Observation

I have a new gardener under observation if he could do the routine work in my garden. He works though very slowly as is usual among newcomers. Being still young, he gets hungry easily, takes a bath too often and gets out of the house many times. He celebrated his birthday and as a gift for him I ask my other helper to cook 'pansit'.

He shared to me the story of his family. They are six siblings, one of them is a 10 year old boy he brought with him to attend his birthday. He said his mother also wanted to come but no money for bus fare. His other sister is to be wed before the end of the month but his father doesn't have a 'barong tagalog' to wear. They are that poor. He doesn't even have a pair of shoes.

Again my heart was touched, so, I picked one very old 'barong tagalog' with matching pair of pants and a very old pair of shoes that he quickly brought to his father. When he came back in the afternoon he brought vegetables taken from the farm where his father and other siblings are working.

I don't find him fitted for the gardener I needed but one thing good about him is the fact that he has no vice. He doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and no cellphone. He works slowly but he follows my orders.

I am giving him up to the end of the month to show some improvements before I hire him. If I finally discharge him I don't know where he will work and who will hire him and it gives me a little lump in my throat...there are so many desperate families now and every time we have a chance to help, we must help in anyway we can.

Exactly one week and one day after I started observing him, a thick dark cloud suddenly appeared in the picture. After telling him in the afternoon to ask permission before going out and to let me know where he was going, that night, he just left with the bicycle of my farm boy. This is the second time he did it and again he didn't return the whole night.

The following day, after the six o'clock mass he has not returned. I began to worry but was easily pacified by the thought that I personally knew the person who recommended him. He was supposed to be the recommender's cousin-in-law.

At around ten o'clock in the morning I was tempted to report him to be in the blotter of the Barangay Hall. On second thought I decided to wait till afternoon while I texted the "cousin-in-law" about the incident.

Before lunch time the gardener returned with his mother. She explained to me that she was opposed to the idea of his son working. He had an accident when he was 13 years old that caused brain concussion.

Since then he became forgetful and disoriented every now and then specially when he was tired or lack sleep. Actually he has never been exposed to any gardening work and the one who recommended him, who thought he was doing good, was not his "cousin-in-law but just a farm acquaintance.

So thanked God everything turned clear before any damage could be done to anyone. Well, I am now scouting for another real gardener.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

FLOATER

The Ophthalmologist calls it a "floater" in my right eye. It gives out a 2x2 inch rugged spot on my visual field and is located at the inner angle of the right upper quadrant. Sometimes it blocks my view and occasionally it changes in color from red to green to violet...all the colors of the rainbow.

Perhaps the "black hole" looks like the dark spot in my field of vision as seen through a powerful telescope focused on the outer space. A super giant floater in the vastness of the universe.

There must be a reason for my rugged floater as there is a reason for the appearance of a black hole. Only God in his divine omniscience knows the importance of the black holes and the floaters. I just realized that there is a mini-universe even within my blurring eye.

In Physics I learned that the atom is the smallest particle of matter. Yet, it is so spacious to allow a neutron (proton) at the center for the electrons to freely orbit around it....just like the solar system in the galaxy. Billions of atoms are supposed to congregate to form just one molecule and billions of molecules are needed to form a tissue. The combination of many tissues then results to different organs while so many organs composed a system. Different systems function harmoniously to keep a healthy body of just one living being.

Yet, all the things on earth, both animate and inanimate, organic and inorganic, living and non-living are only parts of a tiny earth in a tiny solar system that makes a tiny "atom" in a tiny "molecule" that composed the hugeness of the infinit God.

Non of our senses can comprehend the greatness of God but through our imagination which God allowed to be limitless, we can fully appreciate how insignificant we really are. Our imagination can trick us to think otherwise. So, there are those who live in state of delusion presuming that they are great and powerful with unlimited intelligence. This presumption gives birth to pride, the sin of Lucifer. Man fell like a piece of body tissue defeated by pathogenic microorganisms. But just as the body's immune system prevents parts of the body from total deterioration, God prevents His creations from being totally devastated.

If it is difficult to imagine the bigness of God, it is because God is the sum total of all His creations and His creatures are mere nothing had they, or we, not been breathed with life to become part of God's eternal existence.

Death is not the end. It is the beginning of a transformation into another existence that goes on and on forever and ever. Life is energy and even in physics we learned that energy is never destroyed. We are destined to live forever. Every transformation, every new birth and new existence is an improvement of the previous one. This goes on and on until we are transformed into a state of perfection to qualify us to see and enjoy the Beatific Vision. That is, seeing God face-to-face.

A floater in the eye may block some portions of an image or a scenery but what is that compared to the block in seeing the Beatific Vision as obscured by the spiritual floater brought about by sin? A floater in the eye is dissolved by medicated eye-drops and likewise, sin is dissolved by God's mercy dropped in the form of love.

Toilet Experiences during a Pilgrimage

One small place that a pilgrim never fails to look for anywhere he goes is the toilet, more popularly known in the Philippines as comfort room or simply C.R.. Of course in the Philippines everyone will agree with me that the C.R.'s are not generally comfortable. Public toilets are usually stinking and more often than not, littered with all kinds of dirty objects.

In the Middle East and the European countries, C.R.'s are marked W.C., meaning Water Closet. Sometimes you will see TUVALET or TUVALETLER. Aside from those, there are additional male and female symbols. These symbols though are not always easy to understand. Like the 'triangle' and the 'circle' at Bethany. No one could decipher which is which until I ventured to explain that the triangle was more likely the shape of the female urinary organ to which everybody had a good laugh.

At Tel-Aviv I saw one marked only with a lady's shoe and the other with that of the disabled wheel chair as if implying that all males are disable. In Istanbul the male toilet was marked BAY or BAYLAR and that of the female BAYAN or BAYANLAR.

At Restoro Margheretta in Colle Don Bosco the signs were OUTIMO (?) and DONNE while somewhere else I found yet another one signed with CADINE and ERKEK. Thinking that CADINE was for male because it sounded like cadet I entered it and tried to relieve myself but halfway in the midstream two ladies entered shouting invectives while explaining to me that the place was only for women. I was caught in a predicament and got confused on how to react. So, I instinctively faced them while still holding "mine" and unconsciously explained, "yes, this is for women". The two ladies ran away very fast.

Well, signs could sometimes be really confusing but what I noticed among the toilets that I have entered was that generally they were clean and not stinking.

There are always plenty of tissue papers and endless water supply. Many are flushing automatically and one who enters really feels relieved and comforted.

In connection with toilets are garbage which are supposed to be products of progress but how a country disposes its garbage can say much about the country.

Aside from some scattered garbage on our way to Mt. Carmel and a few also along the roads to Nazareth, files of garbage are a rarity and a surprise to us Filipinos.

Before I end up this anecdotes about toilets let me tell you about this thrilling experience that happened at Asisi.

As usual we looked for Tuvalet to relieve ourselves and as usual too, there were more women and so the female side has longer queue than that of the male. Two English ladies discovered that there were vacant seats at the male toilet. They bravely transferred and used the vacant holes. Other ladies followed. I was already washing my hands in one corner when I heard the commotion. I was greatly amused so I started singing "The more we are together...the happier are we..." Imagine the fun when almost everybody joined my singing.

On another occasion the guide was explaining that people in European countries don't urinate on open areas like around trees at the highway. Just at that very moment one of our companions spotted a man at one side of a big tree who just finished urinating and was giggling. She kindly pointed the scene to the guide. The guide of course quickly looked and smilingly announced that the man we just was the Philippine Ambassador to that country.

Well, some toilets stink and others stink more but in as far as our pilgrimage was concered our toilet experiences were mostly interesting and unforgettable.

Eternity in My Terrace

It is a strong color of a hot flame seeping through dainty branches of healthy 'lubi-lubi' plant at my front yard, creeping brightly to the sides of a thick bunch of cloud. The setting sun has a lonesome message. But it is also the color of sunrise that I noticed from my window when I woke up this morning. It is the sun's burning flame that begins and ends a whole day. Heat, which is the basis of life itself. It gives joy, strength and life to the whole environment.
Everybody is happy. The cocks are crowing before finally hiding to their resting places.Different birds are retreating to their chosen sanctuaries. Insects are coming out and rejoicing through their own enthralling symphony of sounds floating to welcome the advent of nigh time. I don't feel like opening the electric lights as a new light is already being emitted and slowly shining into the darkness of my heart.
It is so pleasant to drink hot rose tea while I vividly imagine the sunrise and sunset of my own life. How relieving it is to hope that when my own sunset comes I'll continue exuding light until darkness completely engulf me.
The darkness is now invading the tail end of the day and the clouds are now ashen gray while the flame of the sun is now dimming. The plants are now quiet and even the air is in total relaxation, as if everything is united in the proclamation of a holy farewell. A farewell, that actually welcomes a more beautiful and brighter sky.
Loud is the barking of a dog as if chasing someone while darkness is fast swallowing the silhouettes of the trees. The bright bloom of 'doña aurora'is now a pale shade of pink. Hidden in the darkness are the orchid-like flowers of 'alibangbang'. Solemnly faded and almost invisible is the light behind the big 'duhat (black berry)', the huge 'narra' and the tall mahoganies'. No longer visible are the fruits of the mango' and the 'santol'.
Night is here. Planet Venus, "the evening star", is now reigning brightly. One by one the stars are appearing, suddenly hundreds of them, thousands, millions -- I am within eternity. The feeling is greatly exhilarating. What a glorious surrounding!!!
All I need is another cup of hut rose tea to communicate with the galaxies, mingle with the universe and make friends with the cosmos. There is nothing like a dialog with Infinity.
My terrace is open all around except for one side where the kitchen is located. I am almost surrounded by an all dimensional show of nature. Dark ant-like little insects are moving on the table where I am writing. They too, seem to enjoy eternity. How can I sometimes be too cruel to kill them as they come? The universe is now reminding me that I am just like that minute ant-like creature. Live and let live...it is fair enough.
The sky darkens. Even the bright glow of the planet Venus is now nowhere to be found. Artificial lights are now dominating the scene. My radio is playing old favorites giving back a lot of fond memories. Oh, those days...
The branches of 'bayabas' tree in front of me are saying something. Through a unique language it is telling a beautiful story. As if in agreement, the 'alibangbang' sways with it. They are reciting a poem. Oh, I need another cup of rose tea. My hanging baskets are dancing, my collection of 'bulols' are deaf listeners and my "throwables" are mute witnesses while planet Venus is their again...the stars again appearing one by one...

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A Portrait of Five Generations

While alone in my provincial rest house one Monday afternoon I chanced to glance at the old portrait of my grandfather, FERNANDO AVIÑANTE. It was hanged on the wall facing the stairs and cannot therefore escape attention of anybody going downstairs.
The picture was about to fade but the details were still very distinct. I suddenly saw MYSELF as if a mirror reflection. The obviously semi-tantalizing eyes and the hair which was sexily parted a little to the left.

Though it was only a bust picture, his straight body below his long neck was almost visible as if a cadet sitting up on a chair. His kind face was mildly tilted to the right, possibly in careful attempt to pose for the camera. His medium-size left ear was perfectly exposed and blending very well with his nose and seemingly forced smile without missing his aristocratically arched left eyebrow.

Aside from myself, I also noticed the shadow of my Father, GAUDENCIO. No one would ever disclaim that my father was my lolo's son. Looking longer and deeper at the portrait I also quickly perceived the undeniable presence of my youngest son, PETER-JONATHAN.

I got stuck on my seat as I saw in my mind the very lively parade of four generations. Did we all look alike? What good trait did we all possess? Did we all act the same way in facing and solving problems? Did we similarly enjoy the same things? I began to wonder... I think I successfully projected to Peter my resourcefulness if not my own brand of sense of humor, but he must have inherited my father's ability in carpentry and artistic tendencies.

So, I heard that my lolo, who played the lire during his younger days, was musically inclined as my father who played the clarinet when still young. I, of course, never played any musical instrument but I also joined several choirs. From whom did I inherit my great interest to teach and to do counseling? How about my style in organizing?

I think that we were all endowed with the same traits that intermingled with those coming from our own individual mothers. The mental game was getting more and more interesting. It was like running back and fort through a time machine complete with sounds and color.

A unique idea was born. Through my son, myself and my father plus the picture of my lolo,I'll try to get acquainted with my grand lolo, HERMINIGILDO, the father of Fernando. I'll use the four generations as my guides and reference along the way.

Herminigildo was the main root of our family tree. He was one of the first settlers in Alfonso when it was established in 1859. He became a Gobernadorcillo in 1862 and again in 1875 and 76. He must have haled from Indang, like almost all the other first settlers of our community, since Indang was the mother town when Alfonso was still Barrio Alas-as. If it is true that in every man's heart there is a little boy trying to please his father, I'll use this as the pathway to reach Herminigildo.

Within the heart of my youngest son, Peter, I could feel that he is trying to please me with his sense of humor. That is why he is always the life of the party and the most sought-after member of his group.

I, in turn is trying to please my father's patience as I am very patient too. That must be the reason for my love to teach and to give advises at any opportunity.

Teaching and advising require patience.My father pleased his father through his musicality, the language of the aristocratic. He must be enjoying music during his time and must have possessed a very good sense of humor. But most of all he must have been a good teacher, a good planner like me, and must be very patient.

No doubt, he was a leader. That was why he was Gobernadorcillo three times and a street was named after him.

The father that the little boy in Herminigildo was trying to please has been far, far away. Even regressed memories failed to chase him him so I must stop at Herminigildo.
How was he when he was young? He must have been like Peter Jonathan today...very active. He must have been in athletics and must have been involved in many worthy activities without neglecting concerts and other musical presentations, but as all later generations proved---never troublesome.

What an old intelligent woman told me half a century ago, must be true. That the eye-catching and orderly arrangement of Alfonso Poblacion was the brainchild of Herminigildo Aviñante. He also initiated the building of the present Catholic church.
Nowhere else in Cavite can one find a community so functional and aesthetically planned as the Poblacion of Alfonso. The main streets were wide and long, running parallel to one another. Main establishments were beautifully arranged around two adjacent giant quadrangles: the Church Plaza and the Municipal Park.

The schools were not far from the center of activities, yet, isolated enough from the sources of all sorts of pollutions. The cemeteries were at the northern part where, as nature wants it, all must finally gravitate down.

Thank to the unique qualities of a leader like Herminigildo Aviñante.

(Note: Now, look at what the present generations of leaders did to the orderly Poblacion of Alfonso)

Addendum: The sixth generation, Milo, the son of my eldest, Paul-David, was born possibly to reinvent what Herminigildo Aviñante started many years ago.

Watching the Sunrise

I woke up so early in the morning and was greeted by many depressing news. I knew my day would be totally ruined if I didn't do anything to remedy the negative vibrations.

I took the next bus to Manila to drop by Tagaytay where I intended to watch God make a morning. So, from the view balcony near Tagaytay Rotunda I enjoyed observing how the dull gray of dawn gave way as God pushed the sun toward the horizon. Immediately, tints and hues of every color began to blend into one perfect light. The full sun burst quietly into view.

The sun, as king of the day, moved majestically across the sky, flooding the earth and every hill and valley with glorious luminosity. At this moment I seemed to hear choir of heaven as it sang the glory of the morning and the greatness of God.

As I watched the clear, pure light of the morning I yearned for the truth in my heart that could make me pure and clear like the beautiful morning itself. I wished I successfully tuned my life to the concert pitch of nature around me.

The breeze that accompanied the sunrise made me hope in God, who gave me life. He completely filled me with His breath, His mind and His spirit. I silently whispered a prayer: "God, Your will, nothing more, nothing less and nothing else. Amen". Within God's life I found my own, but now it was eternally glorified.

I wondered what we, poor humans, would do without our God's nights and mornings. It was so relieving to see the passing of darkness silently away. As the day grew brighter my biological clock reminded me to eat something. I proceeded to the McDonald nearby and ordered my usual coffee and hush brown.

Now I was ready to face the day with vim, vigor and vitality.

Monday, July 16, 2007

The Mystical Mountain, Banahaw

HAVING read a lot about the sacred mountain from Jaime Licauco, I have always been looking forward for a chance to experience mystical Mt. Banahaw. My longing was finally rewarded when family friends invited me for a spiritual pilgrimage to the New Jerusalem.

We left the Alabang area at around 5:30 in the morning of March 3, 2002 and reached Barangay Sta. Lucia a little past seven, parked our vehicles and through the efficient instructions of Gloria, our unofficial group leader, we were soon walking toward the foot of the mountain.

Along the way we passed by makeshift stores selling souvenir items along with native food and delicacies. Most of us bought candles that would be needed for the different caves or 'puestos'. Suddenly we found ourselves face to face with a big rock with a caption in big, white letters: 'Santong lugar, igalang po natin'. Beyond the rock were people praying amid lighted candles. There was a big, old image of the crucified Christ and a fading replica of the Ten Commandments. We stopped, lighted candles and prayed for a while then continued walking.

At the place called Jerusalem, there was a big table, simple comfort rooms and little huts all around where pilgrims could stay overnight. The place served as our station. Gloria suggested that we eat our snacks and take only water, T-shirt, a towel, candies, water in small bottles and not to forget our hats.

After a hurried snack, we started inching over steep and uneven steps of natural rock formations. We passed by the Altar ng Jerusalem, a natural formation of huge rocks that looked like a giant altar with two candles burning though no one was seen praying. Crisostomo Llamado guided us to the caves of St. Peter and St Paul. We lighted candles and said prayers before we moved on to the next cave, Ina ng Awa, with the image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help. At the time we arrived, a "Rosario Cantada" was being held by another group, so we joined in the praying of the Holy Rosary.

Close by was the Cueva de Jusgado. It had a small opening just enough for one person to back into. There was an anecdote that pilgrims who are sinners cannot enter this cave no matter how much they try. Gloria advised us to "Leave everything behind so as not to be carrying much once you are inside." As we entered, we brought lighted candles, not for any religious reason but simply because it was totally dark inside. Aside from my T-shirt and short pants, the only thing I did not leave was my pair of eyeglasses, fearing that my sight could be distorted if I didn't have them.

When it was my turn to enter, I did it very cautiously while showing Terry, my wife, how to do it. It was difficult to find any foothold for my feet to help me move forward from my awkward position. A guide held my left foot, cautioning me to be very careful, or I might fall directly into a deep pit should I make the wrong move.

Entering the cave was like being born, as there was no way I could return to the entrance. I thought that was the only problem. I learned too late that I was inside a long, dark, narrow cave (tunnel) about 20 to 30 meters in length just big enough for my body to make slight movements. Some portions were slippery and surrounded by sharp, protruding stones. I had to slither and contort my body like a snake to come out unhurt. The scientist in me feared that the lack of oxygen and the emission of carbon dioxide from the many burning candles could cause all of us inside to be suffocated.

At a spot enough for two persons to stand, I met the 11-year-old son of Dennis and Gloria who said he could not make it anymore. I assured him that he could easily make it as it was doubly difficult to return. That boy's lamentation horrified my wife who thought she too couldn't move any further. I encouraged her to think positively and be inspired by Linda who had gone ahead. I then suggested to the two discouraged crawlers to allow me to go ahead and just follow me.

In a part of the cave where the opening was big enough, I couldn't find anything to hold my feet so I could move forward. I was in this predicament when the candle I was holding fell. In moments like this, faith in oneself and, most of all, faith in God plus a little resourcefulness can help keep one's head.

I asked Terry to push my bottom so my arms would be free enough to thrust my whole body forward. It worked. I made it. Then I suggested to my wife to request the boy behind her to do the same and so on. I caught myself regretting and almost blaming myself for being so stupid a to put myself in such a situation but finally after the terribly difficult obstacle course, the sense of achievement was simply exhilarating. I never felt so fulfilled in all my life.

The Cueva de Jusgado was very symbolic of life, for in life there are many obstacles and ignoring them won't solve the problem. One must think be confident, have faith in oneself and in God, be resourceful and continue moving forward to be triumphant. Our group, around 30 in all, was victorious as we all passed the obstacle course with flying colors. I thought that was the end of the trail. I was about to text my friends to brag of my achievement when Gloria announced that we would now proceed to the 'Kalbaryo'.

We started a seemingly endless uphill climb over big stones and boulders following a most uneven arrangement of steps. A simple loss of balance or a wrong move could spell disaster. This time, Bert Noche was our guide. Thank God it, was a bit cloudy and not so hot at 10 a.m. Thank God, I did not get leg cramps. Somewhere we passed by the 'Kweba ni Santo Nino' with the image of the Child Jesus there surrounded by lighted candles. After a short prayer we continued our climb with candy in the mouth and taking sips of water every now and then.

At 11 a.m., panting and sweating, we reached the 'Tuktuk ng Kalbaryo'. I thought that was the summit of Mt. Banahaw until Bert explained to me that we were only at the topmost portion of the foot of the Mystical Mountain. There was one big, wooden cross and two small ones on each side. From there we could see the real Mt. Banahaw in front.

We were all tired and our muscles ached. But to be on this site (especially because it was during Lent when we went to Mt. Banahaw) was not only a personal achievement, it was a sacrifice that we offered to Jesus as a humble gesture of our faith. Mt. Banahaw, I learned, was composed of several mountains about 7,000 feet above sea level, occupying part of Laguna and part of the Quezon provinces. My experience was something to remember for a long, long time.

I am optimistic that I will still have another chance to return to Mt. Banahaw. I'll visit other important spots such as 'Batang Kiling', 'Kweba ng Dolorosa', 'Kweba ng Virgen de la Paz',Kweba ng Inang Santisima Kasama ang Tubig ng Santisima', 'Kweba ng Nazareno', 'Palasyo ni Moses', 'Kweba ni Santa Agnes', 'Kweba ni San Isidro', 'Ang Ilog Jordan' (ang Pansol sa Ama at Pansol sa Ina), 'Ang Kinabuhayan', 'Ang Kweba ng Koronang Bato' and many others.

THE GHOST

I was sure I locked the main door, as I always do before going to bed at night. But what was this that has awakened me? Eerie sounds of footsteps walking on the narrow corridor. Seemingly, some whispering that could hardly be heard as if coming from afar. Gurgling and scratching noises coming from outside the hallway.

It must be a big rat crawling under the floor ceiling, I told myself in an attempt to be logical. But no, i I was hearing the door opening and closing in no regular pattern. My heart started beating so fast and my bones were getting weak. I was sweating but felt real cold.

Could a robber have found a way to enter my house? I braced myself for the best next move, for I was alone in the house and I had to rely on myself. Should the thief knock on my door, I would open it bravely, turn my back on him then courageously instruct him to just blindfold me while taking everything he could for as long as he spared my life.

But no robber knocked. At that point, I heard the opening and closing of the door of the comfort room. Afterwards, I heard water dripping from the faucet. Someone must be there but how could anyone be there when my main door was securely locked? I had goose pimples, my heart beat faster, cold sweat broke out of my brows and I could hardly breath.

I pinched myself intensely hoping that I was just dreaming, but I was fully awake. I even checked the time on my cellphone. It was 11:46p.m., almost midnight.

Could it be a ghost? Are ghosts real? I prayed hard, even shielded myself with the protective white light of Christ. Praying was the only thing I could practically do at the moment. "Sanctus Desus, Sanctus Potes, Sanctus Immortales, miserere nobis (Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, pray for us)". My mother always uttered that prayer whenever she felt danger around. Could it be the ghost of a friend who sent me text message earlier in the night, saying he was feeling numb all over his body and could hardly breath? He was requesting for help, but I didn't even know his address, and so I just suggested some practical relaxing procedures. But still I felt guilty, and now I was scared that he could have died of a heart attack and his ghost was paying me a visit. Or could it be the ghost of an aunt or a cousin who both died recently?

At any rate, I decided to talk to the ghost to ask what it needed or wanted to say. But later I chose instead to remain very quiet, while trying as much as I could to keep my composure and presence of mind. I thought of sending text messages to my friends outside, to call the police. On second thought, I felt afraid that it would alarm and create a scandal in the whole neighborhood and eventually the whole community. I continued praying amid sounds of doors opening and closing every now and then.

About half an hour later, the whole house became very quiet. The robber or the ghost must have left the house. I felt the silence of an empty tomb. I didn't know why, but suddenly I felt brave. I stood up, got my ball pen and notepad.

I decided to put in writing the experience so that just in case I died that night, people will have some reference to start an investigation.

But my room was too crowded and there was no table where I could write. Gathering all valor in my body, I decided to go out of my room and do the writing at the family hall where my office table was. The moment I was out, I was temporarily stunned and had more goose bumps: there was light in my son's room. But my newfound courage failed me. I couldn't rush in there. So, very slowly and cautiously, I opened the door and there I saw the rat, the robber and the ghost --rolled into one person, my wife, who even gestured to me to keep quiet. Oh my God!!!

As it turned out, my wife and her sister, who I thought were in Manila, had attended a wake at the next town and decided to proceed and spend the night at our ancestral house in the province where I was vacationing. Discovering that the main door was already locked, she awakened the gardener who was sleeping at the stockroom. From there, a small door was directly connected to the dirty kitchen of the ground floor. From the dirty kitchen, they easily found their way to the second floor where I was sleeping.

Careful not to awaken me for fear that I may not be able to sleep again, they made their way upstairs very slowly -- like a rat, a ghost and a robber groping in the dark

EERIE LOVE STORY

February 16, 2007, around 2:00 p.m.. a certain Gilbert delos Reyes approached me announcing that the ABS-CBN crew wanted to interview me. I was of course surprised and puzzled why a Television crew would want to see me. "What have I done?" I asked Gilbert. Instead of responding to me he excused himself to be able to call the crew so they could explain to me everything.

Kristel Aliño, the young, pretty broadcaster introduced herself to me as well as her cameraman and her driver-bodyguard. Then she explained that they just came from the house of Gilbert de los Reyes at Barangay Taywanak where something mysteriously unusual happened that morning. Blood started spurting from the cemented floor covered with linoleum and now the whole floor of the house was stained with blood.

The crew went there to investigate and unable to find any plausible explanation, they consulted Jaime Licauco, the well known psychic researcher. Jimmy was my friend and he was the one who referred the crew to see me, thinking that I knew something about the paranormal.

I explained to them that I was a Doctor of Medicine and didn't know anything about paranormal phenomena. They pleaded to me to please join them and just take a look. I agreed while at the same time forming in my mind an idea that should I be interviewed I'll just say I didn't know anything.

The "bleeding house" was behind another house from the main street. The moment we started walking upwards on the steps in front of the first house I immediately felt goose pimples creeping all over my skin. I was sure something very unusual was happening in the house of Gilbert's parents.

Indeed when we entered I was almost paralyzed not knowing what to do next. Almost the whole floor was stained with signs of spurting and newly coagulated blood. I mentally conmputed to be equivalent to about 15 slaughtered chickens. I took my camera and bagan taking pictures of the blood stains but at the same time I had the urge to ask questions while words started spontaneously to come out of my mouth.

According to Domingo de los Reyes, the father of Gilbert, who was in his early seventies, he woke up early that morning and suddenly noticed spurting blood from the floor. Shocked and not knowing what to do and how to behave, he went to the kitchen just to be met by spurting blood again.. He then proceeded to the sala where the blood spurting continued as if following him where ever he went.

He called his son Gilbert who quickly suggested that they seek the help of ABS-CBN for investigation. Immediately Kristel Aliño's group went there to help investigate but aside from seeing the blood stains all over the floor they couldn't decipher anything. They took sample of the blood and sent to a laboratory which was later found to be human blood. Someone suggested that they call Jaime Licauco for psychic evaluation. Jimmy, in turn referred them to me, the reason I got involved.

When we reached the place I was fully conscious but while talking to Domingo, I started talking as if in trance. I asked him if the date had any significance to him. He said he couldn't think of any. Then I asked him if he was mad at anybody or if anybody had ill-feelings towards him.

At this point the wife interrupted: "Tell him now! Tell him the truth!"
So, I inquired, "What truth?"

"Yes, someone got mad at me", said Domingo, "the other girl in my life", he continued
"Did you love each other?" I inquired.
"Yes", said Domingo. "In fact I sired two children with her".
"Do you, as lovers, celebrate occasions like Valentine's Day?"
"Yes", he said, "because we really love one another".
I continued: "Two days ago was Valentine's Day, how did you celebrate?"
"We didn't", countered Domingo, "We separated five years ago".
"Why did you separate?" I asked.
"It was about time...I was married to her", explained Domingo while pointing to his wife.
Domingo continued: "When she got sick she requested that I visit her, but I never did...until she died recently".

Spontaneously, an idea puffed into my mind and almost uncontrollably I said quite authoritatively: "She died hurting greatly and up to now her heart is still bleeding".

All the time that I was talking to Domingo I was unaware that the camera and the microphone of ABS-CBN was focused on me.

That dialogue with Domingo was the footage shown that night at TV Patrol World. I was not personally interviewed by Kristel Aliño and so I didn't have the chance to explain to the viewers about the paranormal interpretation of the mystery.

I once invited Dr. Alfred Stetler, a German Physicist and Paranormal Psychologist, to walk with me on fire. After doing so I asked him what he could say. He commented that in this world there are so many things yet that couldn't be fully explained by science.

In paranormal psychology, it is accepted that when a person died with unresolved emotional hurt, his soul becomes earthbound who try to do revenge or just keep on coming back to find solution to his problem carried at the hour of death. Sometimes the hurt is so intense that the emotional impact materializes into something physically tangible such as tear, blood, etc.

I suggested to Domingo that he offer apology to his "other girl", ask forgiveness as well as offer his own forgiveness. Then advise her to go on living in peace in her new dimension of existence.

The following day I met Domingo's wife. She told me that they already cleaned the blood stain. That night no more blood spurted on the floor though her husband claimed to have heard moaning sounds. On her part, she, as the aggrieved wife also offered forgiveness and prayed that their lives go on smoothly. She thanked me for "doing exactly the right thing" that helped them lived peacefully.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

JARDIN GAUDOM (A Mini Forest)

Jardin Gaudom (a mini forest) is a crude garden occupying an area of about 2,000 square meters. It has around 30 species of plants planted without following any orderly pattern. Its pathway is crooked and uneven, purposely made that way to avoid walking under coconut trees, thus keeping the walker safe from falling coconut palms and nuts.

At one corner under a huge Narra plant is a man made Wishing Well (actually a concrete basin surrounded by various ornamentals, orchids and vines entirely different from any wishing well one have seen somewhere else. There is an area for Floral Concoction, side by side with the Rock Garden and the Mini Fishpond, near a screened Bahay Kubo, also called Hut for Amicable Settlement.

Slogans and quotations are everywhere; one will feel as if plants were talking to him.

Walking a bit further one will encounter a Rosary Corner curtained by used cards of all kinds. Beside it is the Meditation Site where one could just sit, relax and listen to the voice of God through the sounds of nature.

More interesting, is the Scream Out Area inviting everyone to let go all negative vibrations while allowing all impurities, emotional, psychological and spiritual to flow with the water beyond coconut, bamboo and 'kabo negro' plants to be purified and diluted in the vast ocean of goodness.

Nearby is a small circular Grave site where the garden's owner wish, his ashes when he dies, shall be scattered around a cypress plant.

A few more steps bring one to the Counseling Corner, supposedly the most pleasant space in the garden. It is shaded by bamboos in "full bloom" and is also used for socialization and drinking sessions.

There are plots for vegetables as well as a long driveway bisecting the garden to the parking area.

Also available is a Terrace of Merriment that could accommodate 20 persons casually. Adjacent to this is the Drinkers' Nook for those who enjoy being tipsy or drunk sometimes. A secret tea is also served here at times.

There is a Balcony of Reconciliation for quarreling lovers to patch up their misunderstandings under the shade of 'duhat' and 'bignay' trees. Below the balcony is an interesting portion for those who enjoy and are at home with street and neighborhood noises.

Strolling through the maze of Jardin Gaudom gives one a quick experience in "ecozoic" living, a peaceful and healthy symbiotic existence with nature. It takes only five hundred steps to make a complete round of the unique garden.

Gaudom is coined from the names Gaudencio and Dominga, the couple who originally owned the ancestral home where the backyard is converted into somehow weird and unconventional place to experience during this age of modernity and sophistication.

In this era of computers and cell phones, of global blunders and political stupidities, of terrorism and criminalities, a visit and a stroll through Jardin Gaudom is a very relieving experience.

Mother, Mother, You are Sick

Yes, she was too sick then. Her gall bladder was not functioning and she had other complications. She had been suffering for a long, long time and now she was already cachetic, very week specially because she was almost 80 years old.

A Surgeon said she should be opened-up to find out what was really wrong with her. That was before the advent of sophisticated laboratory procedures. An internist did not agree as he thought my mother may not be able to last the procedure.

So, before surgical intervention she was brought to the Medical Conference. The surgeon explained that unless she was opened-up the gall bladder could burst in three months and that would be my mother's end. Another physician commented that she was too week and might die in six hour while on the operating table. I was a new graduate then and my opinion was asked.

Instead of immediately giving my own opinion I asked a question for anybody to answer: "If she is your mother will you allow her to undergo surgery at her present condition?"

An internist answered: "I wont!" I retorted, "In that case, I will bring my mother home to the province". And I brought out my mother from the hospital giving her my routine medications whenever she had attacks of severe abdominal pain.

She lived for another 15 years, able to do ordinary chores like attending Mass and going to special occasions within the family circle. I once saw the surgeon and told him that my mother was still alive and practically kicking. To me that was my greatest achievement as a physician: having the chance to prolong my mother's life for another 15 years after she was given a verdict of only three months by an specialist.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

A LETTER TO MIGRANT COUPLE IN CANADA

I know how hard it is for you this time. I understand deeply what Ken and you are going through, but come to think of it. You are indeed very lucky.

Very few are given a chance to apply God's law in their relationship. You know how God instituted marriage in the first place. He is the one who gave laws to regulate that union, so man and woman could live together in real, deep-down happiness and joy. God "created man in His image, in the image of God created He him: male and female created He them" (Gen. 1:27).

At creation, Almighty God saw it was not good for a man to be alone, but created a woman as a wife for him. God "blessed them", and God said unto them, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it". (Gen. 1:28). God said, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:24)

Notice, when God put Adam and Eve on this earth, He revealed to them the basic laws of marriage: "and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee", God said to Eve.(Gen. 3:16)

Be submissive to your husband because that is what God wants. He intended you to be your husband's helpmate, not his boss.

Instead of obeying the laws Almighty God has established and revealed to Adam which would have guaranteed success, long life and happy marriage, Eve disobeyed - and then Adam followed meekly along in her disobedience and they lost everything.

The creator said in His wisdom that it was "not good that the man should be alone" and so declared He would "make him an helpmate [fitting] for him (Gen.2:18)

Where you are now is a fabulous modern paradise with many opportunities for advancement. You decide for yourselves. No elders meddling with your plans. You can rear your children the way God projected it under your guidance. Think of it. No "in-law troubles". You have everything to indicate that a brilliant life and successful marriage lay ahead of you.

Keep cool, calm and collected. God is with you and with Him you cannot get lost..

Your dad

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Life in Nigeria

In 1978 I went to Nigeria as Contract Worker with 95 other Doctors of Medicine like me. I was supposed to be assigned to a remote area and I prepared myself to stay there for three years as specified in the contract.

When we arrived at Lagos, the capital city there were lots of changes. We were not told before we left the Philippines that the reason many of us were hired was because way back in Nigeria there was big problem when Nigerian Doctors stopped working due to some unresolved problems in the Ministry of Health. We were there to take over and our assignments were reshuffled.

Instead of sending me to the remote area, I was assigned to a big Children's Hospital, The Massey Street Children's Hospital at Lagos as Consultant in Pediatrics. We were not assigned according to our specialties, in my case, as Generalist. Dermatologists were assigned to Surgery or Obstetrics and Gynecology while Gynecologists were assigned to positions far from their line of interest. So what happened was "Medical Pandemonium" then after a few days, there were public comments that Filipino Doctors were mediocre...yes, because we were all misplaced and it seemed it was intentionally done by the ministry.

I remember the first night when I was assigned alone to that big Children's Hospital without orientation or anything done to acquaint me with the situation. I did not know a single Nigerian word. I felt so confused and so scared. I pinched myself strongly to awaken myself, hoping that I was just sleeping and dreaming. But I was fully awake in front of a giant problem involving lives of children.

I went around asking if anybody could speak or at least understand English. A midwife volunteered herself and very patiently guided me. I prayed real hard for guidance and kept my head because I said to myself if I lose my head I will lose everything..I didn't know how I managed to survive that trial but I actually didn't find it too difficult because way back in the Philippines I was the non-official Pediatrician of the Community Hospital where I was then connected.

The following day, I composed myself and made plans to be able to handle the situation face to face. The first thing in my mind was to learn their language so I could understand them as it was too difficult to deal with sick people if you don't even understand what their complaints are. So, I must first learn the anatomical equivalent of the different parts of the body.

To start with and to make things easy I coordinated the learning with songs. I remember that song when I was in grade one "Your toes your knees, your shoulders, your head" I sung it with
the Nigerian equivalent: "Omo, ese, ejika, uri...." I applied it with other songs and other Nigerian words and in two weeks I could understand most of what they were saying. I even became popular because of my discovered method of learning.

Next, I asked the nurse to teach me a kind of folk song that every Nigerian would understand and know how to sing. Every time I ride a Taxi or follow up anything in any office, I always sing that song and surprisingly they all joined me. Whenever I did that I was free of charge in taxis. The song was "Iwe kiko", something like our "Bahay Kubo" to which everybody could relate. Imagine my amazement and amusement when 17 years later, I met some Nigerian Tourists in Jerusalem who joined me happily when I sang the song. I was just beginning to hum the song when they all joined me. An incident that scared my wife for a while.

There were scores of other experiences, all very interesting that I could share again some other time.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Positive Conversion

This happened long ago. When our Medical Director died of Cancer I was forced by circumstances to take over the directorship. I did not want to accept the positions because my children then, all in the elementary grades were all enrolled at he De La Salle Zobel and my wife was working. I feared that the children would be neglected if left only to the Nannies. So I accepted the position only temporarily for one year.

The first thing I did was to convert all negative posters and signs into something positive: "No littering" was changed to "Cleanliness is next to Godliness"; "No Smoking at the lobby" was changed to "Please Smoke Somewhere Else"; "No visitors allowed" was changed to "Let us help the patient rest"; "Talking at the corridor is not allowed" was changed to "Please converse at the lobby"; "Don't throw your garbage here" was changed to "Please use the garbage can" and many others like "Pain is good...it reminds you to take good care of your health" or "To those who wish to insult the Medical Staff of this Hospital, please limit yourselves to five minutes or five insults, whichever is shorter".

Those positive conversions were very effective. People started smiling and the hospital became a good place to go to. I also organized different teams among the staff and employees for sports purposes. Those who were off-duty were required to do jogging and other activities in the morning before sunrise. We also had time for bowling and swimming, etc. That way camaraderie was enhanced and everyone shared what he could for the group. A Choir was also organized to sing during Sunday Mass and other important occasions. Those who celebrated birthdays on the same month were encouraged to celebrate together, after all they mostly have common friends.
I also started the Free Clinic during Hospital Anniversary.

After one year I moved to Ayala Alabang in Muntinlupa, Metro Manila to be with my children to monitor their growth. I joined the New Alabang Village Medical Specialists until I retired. My
days at the Alfonso Doctors' Hospital in Alfonso, Cavite was very fruitful and enjoyable that somehow it gave me a lump in the throat when we sold it to La Salle.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

EMERGENCY

EMERGENCY

I was a new graduate then running a small clinic in our town. That particular day I closed my clinic to attend to something very important. I was riding a jeepney and while at a highway in
Tagaytay I suddenly saw a man covered with blood all over his face and crawling upwards on the grassy side of the street.

He met a vehicular accident. His car slided on the wet street and turned turtle to a nearby shallow ravine.

I told the jeepney driver to stop so we could help the man who was visibly in distress. We brought him to the jeepney and back to my clinic.

After cleaning the injuries I realized that they were only less serious physical injuries, so, after applying what were needed and giving him prescriptions I allowed him to go home back to Manila.

After a week he returned to my clinic and that was the only time he told me that he was the owner of a glass factory. He was paying me for my services but I did not accept because what happened was an accident and I would have done what I did whoever happened to be injured.

It happened many years ago. I am now many years retired and it makes me feel good to recall those interesting experiences that gave me many chances to be of help

Friday, July 6, 2007

PROTECTING YOUNG SUSPECTS

Protecting Young Suspects

I remember when I was still active in medical practice a very interesting but memorable incident happened. I was on-24 hour duty then. At around 5:30 p.m. a woman was brought to the hospital allegedly a victim of vehicular accident. She was accidentally bump by a car with three young riders.

She sustained slight physical injuries but when the angry relatives heard about the incident they angrily came to the hospital looking for the three young men who brought the woman to the hospital. When I saw them, some bringing bolos, I gathered the three young boys inside my clinic.

I tried to explain to the relatives that they have nothing to worry as the injury was only slight but they want to lick the young boys. I just continued protecting them waiting for the incident to calm down.

The three boys were so afraid. They already sold their cameras and other personal belongings to be able to pay for the expenses in the hospital. That night I kept the three boys under my custody in my own house which was only across the road.

As expected the relatives were later calmed down when they realized that the victim was not at all in pain and all examinations showed nothing serious. In short the case was settled amicably.

When my wife arrived from Manila the next weekend and learned that I allowed three suspects to sleep in our house she was somehow disturbed and didn't like the whole idea of allowing strangers to sleep in our house. I tried to explain to her the whole situation but still she was not convinced that I did the right thing.

That weekend, the three boys came back bringing goodies and foods. As it turned out they were all children of influential families in Manila running factories and other businesses.

I told my wife that the reason I protected them was because we ourselves have young children going around places and I pray and wish that should they encounter problems, some understanding beings should also take care of them. That was the only time my wife was fully enlightened.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Helping a Future Leader

I was on my way to the private school where I do my browsing, etc. because its account is unlimited. Upon entering the gate I noticed a teen-age boy alone at the parent's waiting station. I approached and asked why he was there and not in classroom. He said he was not allowed to enter because his shoes were not completely black, which was prohibited.

I said, "Why don't you go home and change?". He answered: "My black pair of shoes were completely torn the other day".

"Why don't you borrow from a friend?", I asked.

He said: "Our place is far from here and the bridge is under repair..."

"What are you planning to do? Why stay here?" I continued.

"I am planning to sneak myself in after recess". That was how strongly he wanted to attend class.

Since our house was just nearby, I invited him to my place so I could lend a pair of black shoes to him. After asking the permission of the guard we went to my place together and I lent him my black Bally pair of shoes.

His eyes suddenly glowed and his enthusiasm was doubled. He quickly went back to his classroom and accomplished the day's need. At the end of the day he felt triumphant then thankfully returned my pair of black shoes.

Someday that young boy could be one of the nation's leader. If he missed that class, he could have been greatly traumatized and disliked school the rest of his life.

I hope what I did, the simple act of allowing him to use my black pair of shoes for a while, was imprinted in his subconscious mind so that he himself will do good things, no matter how simple, whenever he has a chance.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

A chance to do good

A couple of days ago I was on my way home from a friends's house. I encountered a middle-aged women carrying a plastic bag of goodies. She suddenly held my shoulder and before I could say anything she almost collapsed.

I learned that while walking she felt dizzy and fell down on the road. She was almost run over by a passing jeepney. She showed a large angry wound below her right knee still bleeding.

Fortunately we were in front of a Pharmacy. So, I bought antiseptic , cotton, etc. for her wound then I gave her paracetamol to take immediately for her pain. When she felt good she proceeded home after assuring me that she could take care of herself.

The tricycle driver who saw everrything told me: "You are very good doing that to someone you just accidentally met". I retorted, "If I were'nt around what would you have done?"
Possibly, he would just left the woman in pain while escaping away with his tricycle.

There are always opportunities to do good and whenever I have a chance I always do good to people who need it.

Luckiest Day July 7, 2007

Seven is supposed to be a mystical number and it is considered lucky

Think of seven good things you have done in life. Seven difficult problems you have solved, seven good friends you had.

Think of the seven archangels, the seven sacrifices of the Virgin Mary, the seven deadly sins, the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. Remember the seven devils that came out of Mary Magdalene. The seven sacraments of the catholic church as well as the seven amens of the Gregorian Chants.

Think also of the seven days of the week, seven good plans for the future, seven good things you have done before. How about the seven mighty principles of life?

Seven will definitely stimulate your mind to think seven times deeper before the date comes.

You will be seven times more blessed.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

On Problem-Solving

Everyday we encounter problems and most of the time we get lost trying to find a
solution.

Now there are three simple steps to follow

1. If possible, change the situation

2. If # is not applicable, change the person involved

3. If #s 1 and 2 are not practical, change your attitude about the situation and
what you considered a problem becomes acceptable.