Friday, August 31, 2007

BOOK LOVER

It was not a big book and it was not expensive but to me it was very important. I needed it then but I couldn't find it. I used to keep it inside my drawer as it was my constant reference but it wasn't there when I looked for it.

The missing book started a series of irritations in the house as I started picking and throwing books from shelves and drawers just to end up empty-handed. I just learned a new lesson: A little missing book could create havoc not only in the house but even in my heart and mind.

I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing, as I couldn't decide on what was right to do. So I reviewed all the places where I searched for it first as if expecting the book to materialize from nowhere, but of course nothing came out from nothing.

I was still trying to figure out what happened to my book. Perhaps one of my children got hold of it one day, opened the pages, got interested, read, then left it somewhere and because it was small and covered only with a magazine page it probably found its play among the junk.

During my student days I was deprived of books and now I am just so in love with books that I really die a little whenever one favorite book of mine is misplaced or lost. I am optimistic that my book would materialize one day.

A TOUCH

A touch can do so much. I realized this when I volunteered to work for the street children at 'Lingap Center'. They were all so in need of cares and stroking that a simple sincere touch can really brighten their days. But in the streets where they lived before being brought to the center, they were rejected and dejected, even ejected. In their own "homes" they were objects of punishment and parental sadism, the reason why they preferred the streets.

I wish I could do more to help them aside from offering my medical services every now and then. I talked to them and listened to their stories. Their childhood were full of horrible experiences as they lived dangerously day by day. They have no idea of a real home and I wonder what their conception of love was.

Most of them have scattered scars, the constant reminders of the tortures they experienced from their own parents and other street children. Their external lesions were varied and could easily be cured by ordinary medications but their inner wounds were more painful, constantly fresh, hurting them during most of their waking moments. Their growths were stunted and even their mental development suffered as well as their nourishment. Many were still scattered on many streets exposed to bad elements of society.

They were the future generation's "hope of the fatherland". They would be involved in the shaping of the nation and if we don't help them now we could also be blamed. A touch can do so much. Let us touch them now.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

PROMDI

Death by accident is becoming very common as accident is getting more and more frequent. This is the consequence of progress. When everybody is in a hurry accident is not far behind.

A remember a young man with all the good potentialities died of a vehicular accident. I happened to know him because he was the classmate of my daughter. I met him when he volunteered at the Lingap Center where I was also a volunteer then. He was very healthy and full of promise for a prosperous future. Suddenly he was grabbed by death and with him went his hope and vision.

I recalled the incident because a similar accident just happened a few days ago. It involved a 20 your old young man who was very close to me because he often sought my advice. His new car was borrowed by his friend who just came from a party. Knowing that the friend had drinks he joined him in the car where he felt asleep. That was the time the car bump on a big tree along the way. Both of them died.

As I contemplated about these deaths I felt nostalgic about those days here in the province where I was far from the technologies of the modern times. Life here was peaceful but simple and enjoyable. I knew everybody because due to the nature of my job as a medical practitioner I had a chance to enter every house, made access to every room in every house, but most of all I won every heart of every person occupying every room in every house.

There was no happening that did not affect me; no celebration that I was not invited and felt very important. But that was long ago. The fast movement of modernity left behind even the memory. Now I am back to the province to enjoy my retirement period. I am still carrying the old-fashioned life style as I am still walking my way around town because I do not have a car and I honestly don not need one.

Instant Fountain of Youth

The fountain of youth is every old man's dream and I am sure anybody who is old would be willing to part from his savings if he can only find the rejuvenating formula. But that is not exactly what is in the mind of the 73 year old retired judge from Leyte who came all the way to Manila with his second wife to seek my professional help.

He submitted himself to hypnotherapy after having been convinced by her daughter who was a Consul to Bangkok. I gave him suggestion for self-esteem and guidelines to success. He was so carried away that after an hour in trance he didn't want to come out of it. The same happened to his 49 year old wife.

After session with his wife they compared notes and both agreed that they were recharged and rejuvenated. They both felt a new wave of energy, vigor and vitality flowing all over them.

Like teen-agers infatuated by each other they left the clinic beaming with smile and enthusiasm. They were both on cloud 9 as if coming from a shower in the fountain of youth.

Hypnosis deals with the mind and what happened to the couple proved what the mind could do even to senile bodies. Yes, very few are availing of the very scientific method of realigning the bodily processes for better health. Very few are truly convinced that they have in their system the hidden power to make them feel great. Actually aperson is what he think he is.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Senior Citizen

She was not feeling well although according to other doctors nothing was really wrong with her, the reason why she was calling me for my opinion. Immediately I knew the reason why. She was depressed, lonely, and afraid of her fate that she was old and all her children were residing abroad.

She was the aunt of my wife. She was about 80 years old. Her husband underwent several operations and was hospitalized many times. Now the two of them were usually left at home when their two grandsons go to school.

In that situation nobody could feel well. Any woman would be depressed. So that night, my wife and I, together with two daughters paid them a visit. My suspicion was true. She was only reacting to her boring situation. She was so mad at everybody whom she helped before. She felt avoided, abandoned, neglected, even hated.

I suggested that instead of focusing her attention on those negative thoughts she should start counting blessings and achievements. Forget her "bad" friends relatives but instead play some interesting games with her equally depressed husband. I suggested Chinese checker, domino and card games.

Her face showed gladness and anticipation, Suddenly the old woman was feeling well. All the while my two daughters were observing what I was doing. They were probably projecting mentally how my wife and I, their parents, would look and feel when we reach that point in life. I hope the experience taught them what to do.

Street Children

Lingap Center was a government institution dealing with street children - those who were abandoned by their own parents. There were about twenty children when I went there as a volunteer.

They were very unruly, uncooperative and unable to concentrate. They were experts on street lingo and street behaviors. Most of them haven't entered any classroom and whatever knowledge they have were results of experiences learned along the streets.

My daughter, together with other La Salle students who were also volunteers found difficulty in dealing with them, so I tried to help.

By rearranging their seats into a circular manner we were able to get their attention a little better. I also tried mass hypnosis and about seven were able to go deep into trance. Then I introduced origami, which stimulated their interests.

It was not easy working with them unless one was really committed to help. I thought even the paid employees were not deeply committed as well as the student volunteers whose intentions mainly were to complete their summer assignments.

The children were dirty and mostly affected with skin diseases but their need for intimate closeness was very evident. The kind of intimate closeness that they were all deprived off. A simple, sincere, honest-to-goodness touch could already make them very happy.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Words of Comfort

I saw him crying under the heat of the sun. He was robust, dignified-looking and handsome. He must be having a big trouble to be crying just after the mass that followed a retreat. Something must be eating him so I encouraged him to join me so we could iron-out whatever problem he had.

After some hesitations he followed me. A friend of him, the conductor of the choir where he belonged joined us. True enough he was nursing so much pain in his heart. His father, whom he doubted to be his real father, orphaned him. He was thinking that he was an illegitimate child.

His girlfriend was a widow with two children. He loved her but she committed immoralities that he couldn't swallow. But she kept on coming back to him and he kept on forgiving her out of pity. He sought the advice of a "professional" who first guided him but later scandalized him personally. He didn't know where to go and what to do. He was just so confused that often he inflicted pain on himself.

I advised him to see me for hypnotherapy but meantime I told him three important guidelines to follow. He shouldn't be cruel to himself, he shouldn't allow himself to be a slave of his own emotion; he should always remember that marriage is a lifetime partnership.

I told him that he was still young with plenty of opportunities ahead - and the future belongs to him. His face brightened, his attitude changed to optimism, hope was born in his heart and I think he even turned handsomer.

AWKWARD

I find it difficult to adjust to teen-agers. They are the most difficult beings existing on earth, no doubt so many parents fail. Themselves confused of their own position in the strata of life, that they behave very awkwardly, very unlike children but definitely not adults. The way they think is even more confusing; they are unsure of what they are doing but become irritated when given guidance. Their language and terminologies do not follow any grammatical standards and they seem to understand each other that way.

They show signs of physical and academic growth but they are so subjective about their feelings that they become very sensitive and temperamental. In dealing with them, an adult must be very careful in choosing his words to use because a teen-ager can completely misinterpret an ordinary phrase or an ordinary idea, in fact even an ordinary joke.

Teen-agers think they are always doing the right thing because everybody else of their age is doing the same thing. To them all adults are "passe", old-fashioned and must therefore listen to them. Yet they get hysterical when adults imitate them. They wish to stay enclosed within their exclusive sovereignties, which are off limits to adults and children.

Because teen-agers are bizarre they are nice to be with, the reason why some adults act like them.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Balanced Diet

Gluttony is overeating or more specifically, sinful eating. It is eating beyond the body's physiological needs. It is the modern rich man's most common sin. The irony of it is that while many are committing this grievous sin, more are getting hungrier not by choice but simply because they have nothing to eat.

Many who died of malnutrition could have been saved if only the left over of those who indulged in gluttony was given to them to eat. If you have seen a child eating pieces of food directly from the garbage you will understand what I am saying.

Eaters also gt sick. Indigestion, food poisoning, hypertension, gouty arthritis, heart diseases and serious allergic reactions afflict them. "If the poor man cannot always buy meat, the rich man cannot always digest it".

One day we went to a big restaurant with the intention of treating ourselves with a good meal. We would have felt better the effect of the intention had we not ordered so much food. To me the best way to enjoy food is to eat just a little bit short of the necessary balanced diet. There would be no waste, no regrets, no overindulgence, and only a hanging appetite craving to eat more. It is even healthier.

If there is a sin more common than lying it is gluttony. Yet it is the most neglected, the never confessed sin and it is eating deep in our soul.

A simple balance diet is still the best.

Hypnotherapy

"With her I need not dream because just being with her is always more than a dream". Those were the words of a young lover in describing to me how he felt whenever he was with his love one. Then they broke up their relationship. She was to go to college and he was still in high school. She was a busy model and an active member of Repertoire Philippines, while he was a confused orphan having difficulty relating with his father.

He was in that emotional frame of mind when he consulted me for hypnotherapy, complaining about difficulties he encountered in concentrating and retaining the lessons taught in school. He was a very cooperative subject and I easily brought him deep in hypnotic trance.

During the subconscious dialogs and age regression procedure he expressed a lot of heartaches and so many sad experiences in the past. His mother died of Cancer. He lamented that he didn't have a chance to know his mother better.

His experience in Cebu International School was terrible. He underwent difficult initiation rites, which turned later to be just a joke. His adjustment period at Benedictine Abby School was simply stupid.

Anyway, Hypnotherapy helped him discharged all those negative imprints of the past but now that he is showing his new mental attitude and outlook very positively some people think he is weird for the sudden change. He was transformed that much and that quick.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

On Chairs

"You have so many chairs!" commented one visitor who came to the house one day. True enough, we really have so many chairs at home, good for sixty persons to all sit comfortably at the same time. Aside from that we have scattered stools and benches around.

My wife has an extraordinary predilection to chairs, the reason why we have different sizes and shapes of chairs in every nook and corner of our dwelling place, from the attic to the laundry area.

Come to think of it, chairs are the only household items that formally offer the longest comfort and support to all and sundry the whole day long, whatever you are doing. Without a place to sit on, watching T.V. or plain waiting could be purgatory; conversations would be tiresome; eating would be messy; reading would be boring and life as a whole would be a lot more uninteresting.

Some sofas are convertible to beds and even those that are not are also used as beds. Small upside-down chair could serve as a pillow to support the aching back or could serve as a leg holder in doing a 'Tredelenberg' position during an emergency. Hanging chairs are good hammocks for children of busy parents. Leaning chair is a comfortable psychiatric couch.

As the song goes..."A chair is not a chair unless someone is sitting there". An empty chair depicts absence. The more there are chairs the more people are expected to sit there. According to the saying..."The more the merrier".

INSTINCT

Sneezing is an involuntary act. It is the body's way of expelling irritants or foreign bodies within the nasal cavity. Like any other act, whether voluntary or involuntary, it must be done within the norms of social standards. So, it is unethical to sneeze in public, as one is also not supposed to sneeze while eating. Yet, that is the very time when the urge to sneeze usually starts, giving one barely enough time to cover his nose and mouth with a handkerchief.

Like sneezing, other acts of the body are not very easy to control simply because they are acts commanded by instinct. Like the act of sitting, chewing and yes, coughing and sneezing.

It is the handling of these involuntary and instinctive acts that an educated and learned person is specially separated from those who are not. Hence, even simple sneezing can reveal a person's character.

The best reminder is to do the right thing at the right time. Even if in the process of doing the right thing you don't get enough time the mere intention and act to do it is enough to send a message to all those persons around you that you know what you are doing.

Friday, August 24, 2007

DISGUISES

What you don't know won't hurt. There are things that are better kept a secret like experiences that must remain undiscovered; incidents and simple mistakes that mustn't be unearthed.

My wife is in home decor business, handling fragile items like crystals, porcelains and other breakables. Most of them are very expensive and care is needed in dealing with them. Yet, accident can happen and some damages occur every now and then. We don't sell damaged items nor do we throw them away. What I do is camouflage the damaged portions then bring them all inside my office-den to decorate and give it accent. Sometimes I arrange them in one neglected corner to make it look alive.

For a long time now nobody has ever discovered the damages. What I always hear are praises about my office for being neat and presentable with the use of expensive decors.

Some people can disguise their damages so well that they can sometimes pass as genuine. This piece is a good reminder that good-looking things are not always worth their external appearances just as good-looking persons are not always worth loving.

In porcelain there are simple test to find out if the item is fake or damaged. It is not easy to test human beings but with little care it is also possible and not really very difficult to know the fake as well as the damaged ones. The secret is not to rely on subjective feelings. Be also objective when dealing with persons.

Leaking Roof

Roofing is important. It covers the houses from elements and specially from the rain and other falling objects. Without a roof a house is incomplete but with a roof it is already livable even if it is still unfinished.

There are many kinds of roofing from carton boxes and pieces of plastic sewn together, to plant leaves, galvanized iron, glasses, tiles and bullet-proof materials. But whatever type of roof a house carries, it is not serving its purpose if it is leaking like our roof. You cannot find holes in our roof if you try to look for them but when it rains it leaks and the dripping damages everything underneath from ceiling to bed and floor. It leaks at different places at different times and it is now being fixed by supposedly roof specialists.

Roofs are like hats, umbrellas and anything that protects the head and the body from the sun and the rain. Like umbrellas that are expensive some roofs command a price enough to buy a new house.

A typhoon one time broke the antennae tower of one house. It fell and damaged the neighbor's roof that amounted to P300,000.oo. Roofs are important. Like the toupee of a man who is bald, roof is the golden crown that makes the house.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Learning Experience

The long hot summer was here for a long while and what made it worst was the global warming due to several environmental factors, not excluding the renewed activity of several volcanoes.

My office-den at home was a very small room of about 4x4 meters. Small as it was, two electric fans were not enough to produce comfort. Both the patients and me perspired and felt irritated inside. My wife decided to buy an air-conditioning unit just to find out that there was no 1/2 horse power unit available nor was there any portable unit in town. She was about to settle for a 3/4 horse power when she was informed by her sister about a small unit being sold by her own Balikbayan brother. It was 110 volts and after it was installed we discovered that our 110 volt line was not topped to the main line, was fluctuating and therefore risky.

We reported the case to Meralco which led us to another discovery that we have never applied for a 110 volt connection, and whatever 110 volt line we have been using before was only internal interconnection and not coming from the main line.

The heat of summer brought us a series of errors and misunderstandings including the attempt of one electrician to do an illegal connection for a fee, which we of course, rejected. In totality everything that happened was a very interesting learning experience.

Hurrying

If God was in a hurry He could have created the world in a wink of the eye. He could have shortened everything including the Incarnation, the Redemption as well as the Second Coming for a Millinium of Peace. But God desired to have seconds to make minutes, minutes to make hours and days and weeks and months and years and so on for life to go on as it should. It is the best and only divine management and any tampering on that orderly arrangement spells havoc and disaster.

Hurrying is sometimes necessary but when it is already a habit it could be very unpleasant. Hurried cooking can lead to conflagration while hurried bath could break faucets or invite detrimental slip on the cement. Hurried eating can cause suffocation and hurried drinking, drowning.

Yet, the world is now in a hurry not because there is a need for it. I think the life style of the present generatiuon is basically geared to hurrying. My wife for instance would wake up at 4:00 a.m. but more often than not she would be late for the 8:00 a.m mass. She would make appointment at 10:00 o'clock, dilly-dally during the free time then hurry during the last few minutes. The driver himself has to hurry and a lot of tension follows.

I haven't forgotten to remind her about it but just as well she would still end up hurrying. She is the eleventh hour woman but that was not necessarily the result of our hurried courship and wedding. What is disturbing is the fact that she has influenced all my children, that they usually bump on each other in their hurry to do their chores. Thye are all hurring for success which is a good idea after all.

Monday, August 20, 2007

On Walls

Walls are interesting. They are built fort different reasons: To divide properties, to claim territory, to protect, to secure, to decorate or to show off. When I talk of walls, I mean fences, which are walls made so differently as there are personalities behind them. Walls also serve as psychological barometers whereby one can read the reasons for the different choices for which walls are built.


Tall, thick walls are protective in nature. This is the kind that surrounds Forbes Park and Corinthian Gardens, hiding behind them vast wealth and people who are insecure about their own life styles. In Ayala Alabang Village very few fences are built alike. Some are too expensive, enough to feed the entire squatter's village for months. Others are too intricate and too artistic that a portion of which is worth displaying in an art gallery; some are high and covered by green ivy; multicolored bougainvillea blossoms crown a few.

There are mysteries behind walls and there are walls that are mysterious. There is that moderately high wall that allows only several roofs of several houses inside to be seen outside. It covers an area big enough to constitute a Barangay. There is that fence only about two feet so low that you can see everything inside it, yet, it creates a kind of demarcation that makes onlookers wonder. Behind that fence is a house that uses no curtains. Passersby can see happy people inside enjoying their meal.

I appreciate fence less houses. They look so friendly and so inviting one can almost feel the warmth of the dwellers.

Dignity of Death

Sudden death could be a real blessing if the one dying is in state of grace. There is nothing like going to sleep eternally in peace. There will no longer be nightmares or even simple dreams, for there will be no awakening, just one endless rest.

A dentist friend of mine died suddenly while attending a Dental Convention where he was the one assigned to deliver the invocation prayer which he did very well. After saying amen he bowed his head, limped his body and died. What a way to go after a beautiful prayer on behalf of all his colleagues.

To the orphans it was just terrible. The wife had to b e sedated, as she became hysterical upon learning of the incident. The children were also shocked.So many people came to view his remains. He was a picture of calm and serenity. He must have died in peace.

Yet, so many are afraid to die. Death is unpredictable, death could be horrible like death caused by war or earthquakes and other natural calamities. Whatever manner, death always brings about a void in the family left behind. But it is this void that attracts sympathy and compassion; the void that absorbs life; a void that serves as the foundation for a better future. Death after all is not really the end. It is just a new step, another door that opens to another dimension of life.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Remembering a Night in Ayala Alabang

At 8:30 in the evening the night was still young.But not in Ayala Alabang Village, at least that night when together with a daughter, I did my usual brisk walking around Maria Cristina Street.

The whole surrounding was eerily quite. There were no boys playing at Narra Park. There were no dogs barking along the way. The reflections produced by the intermingling yellow and white lights resulted to a dreamlike brightness that surrounded the mango trees.

We didn't encounter other brisk walkers that night though the wind breeze brought forest freshness and the starry skies promised a bright tomorrow. We felt like ghosts ourselves, walking within a cemetery among white painted tombs. One hump-backed man leaning quietly in one corner exacerbated this.

Then a growling cat passed the street. It must be looking for its partner. Its noise gave a little life to the otherwise sepulcher silence of the village. Farther away we saw another cat lazily walking as if full of loneliness. Could it be the missing partner of the growling cat?

The houses all looked very neat and each one cloistered by itself. Only God knew what were going on inside. Were they full of decomposing bodies like those found inside the tombs? I wondered how many immoralities and illegalities were going on inside.

Thank God, before we reached home, as we turned at the corner, we heard loud noises: sh outings and laughters of children playing.

Sounds of life, sounds of hope.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

For Art's sake

They were a group of Cavite Artists who just made a courtesy call to the newly elected mayor, who, in turn referred them to me.

They wanted to gather together all the Cavite Artists to coordinate their works and eventually to give thier group a legal personality.

They wanted to know more about our town, Alfonso, because they realized lately that none of the new Alfonso home owners know anything about the community.

During the opening of their Art Exhibit they are inviting me to act as resource person to give them a backgrounder about the town.

In the course of our conversation we touched many important matters, a very interesting process of learning from each other.

I find it amusing that people come to me for anything about the community as if I am an authority on the matter. To be frank, I am not even a historian. I just happened to be interested in the history of our town. So, while I was waiting for the result then of my board exams I started talking to people specially the old folks who provided me with so many interesting data about the town that now I compiled into a book. This book have brought to me so many students from different universities. Researchers and other intellectuals also come to me seeking enlightenment about our town. The whole thing made me feel very good.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Tips of Things

At the tip of the ball pen, yet nothing would come out of it to start a simple sentence. Very similar to a word that couldn't be uttered for it stops at the tip of the tongue. These experiences are commonly happening to so many people everyday. Like when one first stare blankly unable to comprehend the word that he is about to say or to write.

Lapses of memory? Not, indeed. It maybe a simple lack of association about related things or the absence of a sense of direction or simply some other chemical reactions in the brains that give rise to sudden forgetfulness.

It is not an "ailment" of the aged, for I have met a lot of young people who experience something like this. There could be nothing wrong with the tongue or the ball-pen but why this happens provoke and invite scientific analysis.

While these defects on the tips of the tongues and of the ball-pens are not really dangerous, other tips could be. Such as the tip of a bayonet or the tip of a gun, the tip of a poisoned arrow and many more.More dangerous actually is a love that got stacked at the tip of the heart or a faith that dies at the tip of the sinner's conscience. There are many more but for the meantime I am just giving some important tips.

Of Dream and Death

My four year old grand daughter had a dream: 'I was holding her when I suddenly died". My grand daughter woke up crying and shouting: "I missed my Lolo! I want to see my Lolo!", she said.

So the following day her parents allowed her and her elder sister to go to the province with their Lola to see their Lolo. It was around 7:00 p.m. when they arrived. My wife said she brought home something for me that I must see in the car. From the Terrace where we were I went down to see what it was and indeed it was a most pleasant surprise. My two grand daughters kissed and embraced me so tightly that I was so touched and almost teary-eyed.

When I asked the the younger one about her dream that my wife whispered to me earlier, she said it was a "wrong dream". But I could feel how concerned she was about her Lolo. She sat on my lap and kissed me repeatedly.

After they left the following day I couldn't help but ponder on death. I knew I was already old and aware that sooner or later, in fact, anytime, death could claim me for eternity. I was that fatalistic and quite ready to meet death any moment. I already made my own gravesite at one portion of my Unique Garden. It was a circular area surrounded by rugged stones with a cypress plant at the center. It was where I wished my ashes would be scattered after my cremation.

A few days ago I felt a kind of sub-sternal pain which, being a doctor myself, I knew was somehow a symptom of something wrong with my heart. At first I thought of consulting a Cardiologist but knowing that the Cardiologist would suggest several examinations and laboratory procedures and of course the necessary treatment to save my heart and my life, I hesitated.

In truth I wanted to die of heart attack. It would be faster and less painful as it would also save a lot of trouble to people who otherwise would be forced by circumstances to care for me. I didn't want to bother my love ones or anybody as I also didn't want to spemd so much knowing that at the end I would also die.

As a fulfilled senior citizen I was no longer aiming to add many more years to my life. What I was trying to do was add life to whatever remaining years I still have. I was trying to keep busy in my garden. Planting, weeding, transferring a stone from one place to another or just walking around. There were many worthwhile things that nature could offer but most active people didn't realize.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Cover

Outside appearance is very deceiving and as the saying goes: "you cannot judge a book by its cover". The external part, whether of a house, a thing or a person is usually the polished part. What is behind the shiny facade is always a big question mark.

In fact it is not very infrequent that the heavily made-up face is usually the defective one just like the heavily painted house. A very glamorous sala sometimes compensates for a very untidy rooms just like a very beautiful person who actually is nursing a lot of insecurities.

Likewise, the very showy religious are commonly the hypocrites in the community. They are the ones who are so vocal about great projects and so extravagant when giving out parties.

In any gathering, the noisiest is usually the one who has few accomplishments; the boastful are those with several frustrations in life. In any sector of society there is always someone very loud and easily noticeable; someone extraordinarily active in his subconscious attempt to be seen and heard.

In fairness, there are those few that look good, do good, feel good and are truly good. No matter how few they are, it is good to see them around.

Houses and Homes

Dwelling places, which are formally called homes, are as varied, as there are places for them except in some villages where houses are built to look exactly the same externally.

In my preoccupation as Insurance Medical Examiner I have been exposed to different dwelling places, from those of the very rich and affluent to those of the very poor and even to some squatters. It is very interesting to note how a house reflects the personality and other characteristics of the dwellers. Poor people who are forced by circumstances to live in lowly houses can still show their dignity and taste on the way they tend their places of abode while instant rich still exhibits their selfish motives even in the guise of extravagance.

One can feel many things inside a house: the friendliness, the achievements, the dreams or the insecurities, the frustrations, the authoritativeness and many other traits of the homeowners once one is inside the house.

Generally, poor families are warmer and more accommodating. The rich ones are more aloof, more withdrawn, fearful and detached. Houses of the poor are full of life while those of the rich are seldom breathing. Mostly. they are like commercial advertisements in glamor and color but usually unfriendly.

I simply enjoy entering houses that are homes.

Ash Tray

Looking at a big crystal ashtray in my office I bagan wondering what the ashtray would be thinking if it has been alive. Its main purpose is to receive ashes from the cigarettes of smokers though quite often it also serves as trash disposal or knick-knock container.

If my ashtray could complain it would have objected to those other duties forcibly assigned to it by supposedly intelligent beings. As a coin-catcher it could be very interesting for the ash tray not only for the joyful musical sound that falling coins create but also because coin could make the ashtray experience the feeling of being rich even for a while.

As a tray catching dripping water from flower pot the ashtray could be so irritated and it will surely repulse the idea after having been quite used to catching hot ashes and rugged-looking cigarette butts.

I believe that if the ashtray could feel and have active external senses it would have been more interested in the lives of people using it. It would have been asking why someone like me who used to smoke four packs a day, suddenly should quit. But my ashtray in shades of beautiful maroon, must be very grateful for having a very choice position in my office for a long, long time. For years it has been idle but now it is occupying the center part of a circular glass table at the side of the Terrace of Merriment in my garden where it now serves as a unique flower base... a very attractive and unusual piece of art.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Artificial

Artificial air, the air brought about by the electric fan is not artificial at all; it is the same air around you that goes in cycle caused by the mechanical rotation of the electric blades. Scientifically, the purpose of the turning of the fan blades is to drive away contaminated (hot) air thus creating a vacuum during the process that in turn absorbs "fresh air". It is this "incoming" absorbed fresh air that brings about the comfort, not the "outgoing" air from the electric fan.

It is that simple just like most artificiality, yet, simple as it is, it appears complicated because of the different complicated electric fans available in the market. The principle, after all, is not different from that one caused by ordinary hand fan.

But now people are talking about artificial leg, artificial arm, artificial heart and yes, it is now common to find artificial love. It is now very difficult to find true people because even people have turned artificial. And like artificial air during a long hot summer, artificial persons can only be temporary comforts but not for long, only while the mechanical aspect is on and in good order.

There is no substitute for reality, for things pure and for things genuine, like a pure and genuine faith that can never be substituted artificially. So, we keep on craving for fresh air, for true love, for genuine items, for true people. We all want to truly live our lives.

Anticipating

Anticipation is looking forward to something. It is the expectation of a thing to come. To anticipate is good because it means preparing, readiness and putting up one's best in relation to the coming eventualities.

Anticipation could be a cruel feeling sometimes like when one is anticipating a confrontation with an angry person or when one is anticipating the death of a very sick love one. Yet, more often it could mean fiesta as when one is anticipating a celebration, a party, yes, a real fiesta.

Different persons has different styles of anticipating depending on what the one concerned is looking forward. A businessman who anticipates a good deal is floating on air at the moment but a student expecting the result of a difficult examination could be jittery and nervous for days.

To a sick patient who anticipates the coming of a doctor the feeling brings about hope; to a lover anticipating a "yes" from his love one the moment could be eternal.

To me, anticipation is invigorating. I always prepare too early and not very uncommonly I am disappointed. But this morning I have a feeling that what I am anticipating is going to happen.

It has been my experience that the fulfillment of what I am anticipating can always result to a good day. It makes me enjoy working and my feeling of achievement is stronger.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Replay

-A family driver is like a tape recorder. Without making any sound of his own he records everything he hears but unlike the tape, a family driver can rewind himself and replay his record anytime without any provocation at all.

This, I experienced one time when I was fetched by the driver of an insurance agent who requested me to examine her client. I have just seated inside the car, and this driver started telling me stories about his boss.

So, Mom, his boss has two children, one of whom cannot go to school because one "yaya" is absent and no one can accompany the child. Sir, his male boss seldom visits Mom and never sleeps in the condominium where Mom is staying. The reason, he presumed is because Sir is a Mama's Boy and though he is extremely handsome, being the cousin of a popular handsome actor, is irresponsible. He doesn't give support to his children although he is very rich, with a house at an exclusive village. Sir is an only son who owns several cars. He is so "mabait" though while his wife used to be "mataray". It is only now that Mom is getting kinder, in fact cannot even get mad at him since he was recommended by his "Ninang" who in turn is Mom's "kumare".

Drivers can be anything other than a driver. e can be a gardener, a carpenter, a bodyguard, a helper, a gossip or even a thief, but he can be indispensable if one cannot drive his own car.

Predicament

He is not tall, he is not dark but in his own way he is very handsome. He is a good conversationalist who could carry a lot of ideas about a lot of subject matters. Talking to him is simply enjoyable. He exudes goodness all the time even during moments of unguarded innocence.

He is in the middle of two great involvements and is presently groping for the correct inspiration to make the correct decision. His head says he should go on with his Opus Dei projects but make a vow not to marry. If he decides to marry he will be limited from Opus Dei activities.

So, I told him "Whenever you are in doubt always follow your heart. It is better to err on the heart side side for if you do you will end up happily. But if you err on the mind side, you may end up crazily".

I told him how he would deprive future children of a good father as he also admitted that it is his ambition to have children. So I said, "It is providential that we have this chance to talk. It may help you reach a better decision. Someday", I continued, "when I grow really old I wish I would meet someone who will tell me he is your son".

He presented a cute smile, nodded his head then kept silent as if in deep meditasstion. Shall he follow his heart?

Humming Birds

Two little humming birds are playfully flying among the branches and blossoms of the Japanese Vogainville in front of my terrace. They are so small that they look like little flying leaves at times except that they are playfully flapping their wings. They are alive and seemingly unconcerned about the summer heat or the dirt floating on the air from the busy road outside.

The two pretty birds are so occupied being happy that they don't mind other amenities in life. I wonder how it really feels to be a bird but the way I observe the two birds among twigs and flowers, it must be very pleasant. I have never seen people so happy for so long like these birds.

Happiness is relative and one can be happy wherever he is and whatever he is doing. It all depends on one's attitude in life. A saddist is happy inflicting pains on others while a masochist is happy being hurt. Likewise a martyr is happy experiencing difficulties. To an extrovert happiness is socializing while to an introvert it is enjoying solitude at home. Hermits are happy in the darknss of their caves while army generals are happy fighting a war. One need not be a bird to be happy for happiness is in one's heart. Me, I feel happy watching happy humming birds.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Of Friendship, Quarrels and Reconciliations

Case # 1: It was one of those good friends having a "petty" quarrel. Due to gossips and outside influences, the misunderstanding got more serious until it looked so impossible to patch-up. The families were already involved and the whole community was aware of it. Both were willing to send the other to hell. This was the situation when I decided to reconcile the warring "kumadres".

I requested the parties to meet at a neutral place to give themselves a chance to express each other's deepest feelings. Both were hesitant at first but with my own brand of persuading people, they were finally convinced to meet.

I gave both instructions on what to do, what to say and how to behave. To the angrier one I suggested that she say everything she wanted to say no matter how insulting the words maybe. To the less angry (or guilty) I told her to listen and just swallow everything, then ask for forgiveness afterwards for whatever vague shortcomings or abuses she happened to have done.

When we finally went to one meeting place, one after the other, I started by asking the Divine Providence's guidance then I gave a little backgrounder about the meeting. In less than half an hour the two were crying, asking forgiveness and forgiving. Thank God for using me again as His instrument for reconciliation and peace.

Case # 2: They were the best of friends. Inseparable, always together, until circumstances decided that one must go abroad. It occured a bit so suddenly and the separation was quite abrupt. Friend A, the one left behind, felt the void so much that she regretted their strong friendship. Because of what she felt, she promised herself to change her attitude about friendship. Her personality was somewhat changed too.

She met new friends and one of them almost filled the emptiness created by the absence of her former best friend. Until one day, her old friend whom we shall address as friend B, came back from the states. Confusion arose between them and things were never the same since then. Friend A, discovered new realization with her new friend while friend B who just came back, now felt the void. She got jealous, felt insecure and behaved differently in order to compensate for her insecurities while friend A felt challenged and reacted strongly thus resulting to more and more misunderstandings.

They both looked at the situation from their own subjective biases and abnormal point o f view and they never saw things clearly. They both turned stubborn, equally defensive, abnormally proud and unwilling to give way. They were both made childish and childlike by the event. They became worst enemies and seemed to enjoy quarreling all the time. Meantime they both went on doing their best to hurt each other, their idea of the best solution so far. Yet, they were two of the most promising citizens in town.

God's Graces

God's graces are pouring all over the country. It is raining everywhere, a hangover of the double typhoon Cheding and Dodong that passed-by very quickly and quietly. The raindrops are thin and not in a hurry, just what the dying land is waiting.

You can see how plants grow, glow and enjoy the heavenly blessings. After all the calamities that visited the country last year, things are now showing good signs and better prospect for the country in deep turmoil.

War with the MILF and the Abu-Sayaff are showing pathways to peace with the religious people involving themselves in attempt to catch up with peaceful settlements.

Back home, events are also turning to the better side. My wife is getting good deals in most of her business ventures and also harvesting good products from her favorite farm.

People of all ages and background are coming to me for help, advice, joke, counseling and not very seldom, financial assistance. I am happy that at my age people are still seeking what I can offer in service in different forms.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Artificial Light

Our electrical connection was cut-off by a Meralco lineman. Apparently, we forgot to pay a certain amount since probably our helper forgot to remind us about the notice of disconnection or it was just a case of the usual procrastination. But the absence of electricity crippled the whole household. Emotions flared.

When the world was not yet very "civilized" and commercial electricity was not yet available, there was no danger of disconnection, no fear of crippling household equipment and no flaring up of emotions.

Those were the times when the moon seemed brighter and lovelier, when the breeze seemed cooler, when emotions were calmer, when life was simpler but livelier and people were healthier.

Gone are those days and only blurred memories remain, but even blurred memories are beautiful. We were not expecting too much then, but we were more contented. There were no electric stoves but foods were better cooked; there were no electric fans and air conditioners but the trees were shadier; there were no television but beauty was everywhere for one to appreciate anytime.

It took one Meralco lineman to bring me back the good memories of the by-gone days. It is very invigorating, even rejuvenating..

Filipino Kibitzers

During the Gulf War in 1991 a news item appeared one morning: "Every time there is an incoming Iraqi Scud attack and sirens wail in Saudi Arabia, Filipinos would be seen dashing up to rooftops to get a clear view of US Patriot missiles intercepting the Iraqi missiles. Observers are amazed at the bravery of the Filipinos".

The item reminded me of my own days during the Japanese occupation of the Philippines. I was nearly seven years old and I enjoyed most of my war experiences. The time, we always waited for a chance to watch a "dog fight". While the old folks were hiding in fox holes and other safe places, we children would find the best vintage view of a "dog fight".

At night we enjoyed following the path of the tracer bullets across the skies. We enjoyed too, the 'takbuhan' and the 'taguan sa tabing ilog' whenever there was 'putukan'.Sleeping along riversides and among mature banana plants was fiesta to us children.

I think it is this Filipino brand of mentality that keeps Filipinos alive and even happy, come what may. Filipinos are the only people on earth who laughs at anything... be it a funny face, a corny joke, or someone meeting simple accident, Filipinos enjoy immensely. More often he laughs at himself or his own misfortune or disappointment.

Where on earth will you hear laughing and joke sessions during a wake but in the Philippines?

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

The Art of Healing

Adding years to the remaining life is one of the most important duties of a physician to his patients. The practice of medicine is not simply returning to its place a dislocated joint nor is it just opening, removing an ailing part, then closing the patient's abdomen. It is treating the patient as a whole, not as a person who is only made of parts.

A 52 year old widow with cancer of the left femur, already metastatic, was referred to me by another physician for "whatever you can do". She incurred the disease a long time ago and as expected she had already consulted almost all the other doctors, including non-traditional healers and was now consulting me only as a" last resort". They wanted to know what hypnotherapy could do.

I explained that she had all the necessary powers needed for healing and that what I could do was help her gather all those powers that she could use to heal herself.

She was an easy subject and was quickly under moderately deep trance. I gave the general suggestions for well-being, for self-strength including self confidence. Then I emphasized the importance of prayers and praying with faith, hope, and charity. I also applied my own method of psycho-phranic healing. When I woke her up from trance she was feeling extremely good and relieved of pain. Her daughter made an "standing ovation" then pat me on my shoulder.

Sessions like this have happened several times. It was so unfortunate that they came to me when they have tried everybody else... only as a "last resort".

God Says NO!

When I decided to marry at the age of 35 nearly 38 years ago, I asked God's guidance. I requested Him that if it would be good for me, and if it would be for the greater glory of God, to "please send me the right woman to be my wife".

God sent me a simple woman who was the exact opposite of all that I dreamed off before I requested for God's help. I wanted an only child but God said no and sent me the 10th child in a family of thirteen.I wanted a homebody but again God said no and sent me a woman who was always outside the house doing business as insurance agent, a Realtor, a home decor seller, a buy-and-sell business woman who needed to be out most of the time. I wanted a wide-reader, well-rounded and well-informed mother of my children but still God said no and sent me a wife who barely have time to read or even if she had , wasn't at all interested. God was so wise. He sent me not the woman I wanted but the woman I needed and we survived pretty well after all those trying years.

So, like Theodore Bovet with whom I agreed when he said:
"I have bound myself for life;
"I have made my choice;
"From now on my aim will not be
"To choose a woman who will please me,
"But to please the woman I have chosen".

STATUS SYMBOL

Status symbol could be very expensive as I noticed during the three wakes that I attended. Two of the corpses were lying in expensive metal caskets, the other one in a less expensive wooden urn. The vigil night could last for a week and during all those days, food flows freely.

During the funeral the family hired two brass bands plus photographers and video technicians to record the event. In the final analysis expenses could reach several thousands of pesos while leaving behind poorer orphans. Dying is becoming very expensive simply because traditions about deaths and keeping the status symbol are all irrelevant, almost stupid.

But lots of good things emanate from the practice. This is the time for family reunion and for reconciliation among warring relatives. This is the time to see long lost friends and colleagues. Time for recollection of fond memories - very nostalgic indeed. This is also the time for each member of the family to show his best and to ventilate suppressed emotions.

Suddenly everybody remembers that the dead man is good, and his good qualities are many. Those who have done him wrong feel sorry and though it is too late, a bit his "greatness" is felt.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Silver Wedding Anniversary

I will never forget the last time Pope John Paul II came to the Philippines in 1995. That was the year we celebrated our Silver Wedding Anniversary. It was in many ways very memorable. We planned it two years ahead. A very simple celebration with only the whole family in an overnight recollection with a Don Bosco priest at Batulao, Nasugbu, Batangas. The idea was suggested to us by a friend who experienced it during their 25th wedding anniversary.

But God had His own plan. Through His mysterious ways He guided us from beginning to end.

When we went to Don Bosco Retreat House we were rejected because no priest would be available as everybody was attending the Pope who was in the country for the 10th World Youth Day celebration.

We were referred to the Pink Sisters in Tagaytay but were also rejected for the same reason. We then went to the Holy Spirit Service Mission Center nearby who accomodated us even without available priest.

My wife and I agreed that since we were originally married in Dasmariñas, Cavite and since our Ninang, Mrs. Lucila Mangubat was from Dasmariñas, we went to find if a priest would be available so we could hold the renewal of our marriage vow there before going to the retreat house.

Luckily the parish priest, Rev. Fr. Salazar was available on that day, January 13, 1995. (Viernes trece), so we were scheduled. We even hired a photographer to record the event for prosperity.

Everything was rushed. The dresses, the 'barongs', etc. The "bride" was greatly excited because she had been anticipating this formal wedding since the original was instant as we only eloped then.

The ceremony proper was silvery and glittery though there wasn't a single guest. The aisle was carpeted. The alter was decorated with fresh flowers by Vann"s. There was organ music and a good male singer whom we failed to thank after the wedding.

Peter-Jonathan was the ring bearer, Madora-Joliveth, the coin. The two also acted as the candle sponsors. Brinna-Zita carried the veil while Paul-David carried the cord. The duo sponsored for both. Belina-Judith was the Maid of Honor who carried a bouquet while the blushing bride carried a Bible. Our Ninang was radiant in her barong as well as her son, Boy, who proxied for his sick father. The renewal of the vow was complete with kiss-the-bride and the signing of the contract.

After the ceremony our Ninang invited us to her house which was only a block away from the Church of the Immaculate Conception. She ofered us a ten-course dinner consisting of soup, fried chicken, steamed shrimps, ham, vegetables, Lumpiang Shanghai, pancit Malabon, minudo, fruit salad and fresh watermelon.

At 7:00 p.m. we arrived at the Holy Spirit Service Mission Center where a second dinner was awaiting us. This time soup, fried chicken, vegetables and fresh bananas.

All the time we thought we would be given lectures, would be meditating, doing group dynamics and led in prayers. We expected all that ordinarily happens during a retreat. We only realized the following day that we were on our own, free to do what we wanted to do.

We stayed at the Shalom House. It was a three-bedroom bungalow away from the main building. No T.V., no radio and far from the noise of the external world. That alone was paradise. It was a gret experience for bonding of the whole family. The children all enjoyed too.

Saturday, the following day, Paul left after breakfast to join other youths attending the 10th World Youth Activities at Luneta. So at lunch we invited another retreat guest, Mrs. Olive Reyes to join our table. Her presence made our discussion livelier since then. We considered her as our only special guest on our Silver Wedding Anniversary Celebration.

The culmination of blessedness was felt Sunday morning when we went to the Pink Sisters' Chapel to hear mass. A young nun in blue habit requested us to offer the Chalice and the Ciborium. It was God's way of letting us know that He was bestowing us His blessings. Who can ask for more? Perhaps our guests were the angels who joyfully watched the whole affair.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Creating a GARDEN

Before God created man He first created the Garden of Eden at Paradise, dominated by an apple tree. Then He populated it with a man and a woman who soon both succumbed to the temptation of the serpent (the devil). Ever since, gardens have always been part of every civilization long before the wonderful Hanging Garden of Babylon to the blessed Garden of Gehtsemane and down to the supposedly more modern Japanese and Chinese Gardens.

Gardens are always fascinating. Be it a Rock Garden, an Herbal Garden or a Garden of Roses; be it a giant Orchidarium, a mini Terrarium in a small glass jar or a simple dish garden, there is always a mystery in every garden.

As I approach the later existence of my life on earth, while my mortal mind is still sane and my mortal body still capable I decided to create a Unique Garden to serve as my rejuvenating pastime during my twilight years.

I want my garden to be as crude as crude can be. I didn't consult any landscape engineer or any expert gardener because I want to give my garden its own "personality". There are already grown-up trees scattered in about 2,000 sq.mt. of fertile soil bordering on a slow-flowing brook. There are mature bamboo, coconut and fruit-bearing trees such as Manga, Lansones, Langka, Duhat, Macopa, Rambutan, Guyabano, Santol, Bayabas, Bignay, Kamyas, Cacao, Mansanitas, Tiesa, Irok (kaong), Kalamansi, plus Eucalyptus, Lubi-lubi, Narra, Mahogany, G-melina, Indian tree, Alibangbang and the almost extinct Malaruhat. Blooms are already in line like Doña Aurora, Doña Luz, Ilang-ilang, Rosal, Sampaguita. Goose-neck cactus and other nameless shrubs all sharing their blossoms.

After removing a temporary "bodega" that was built when the old house was repaired, a sudden open space challenged me to do something. The driveway that used to be obstructed by the "bodega" has been extended from the gate to the brookside more than 100 meters long. What used to be a detour portion revealed nearby a cemented portion where my aging uncle once built a shanty where he could go whenever he made "tampo" with his daughter. Over it I built a "bahay-kubo" that I labeled "Hut for Amicable Settlements", a venue for opposing parties to settle their differences. The empty detour portion is planted now with a concoction of colorful flowers. To the left is the part for "halamang gamut" with giant tree with twirling vines of makabuhay and paminta vines nearby. To its right, is the Rock Garden with varieties of cacti. In between the narrow pathwaya, one leading to the "bahay kubo" while the other turn to the wishing well, a big "talyasi" was converted into a mini fishpond with colorful carps swimming day and night.

At one portion of the fence I hung many almost useless things that I just cannot throw away. I labelled them "Keepables". Old tires were planted with sanggumay orchids and "pakpak-lawin". They were hung at every empty branche reminding strollers that life is like a wheel... "sometime you are up and sometime you are down, but can always be useful".

A little further were an old Macopa stands is the Meditation Corner for one to listen to God while relaxing and imbibing the "prana" of nature. Not very far from it is the "Scream Out" area. Here. one can hear the flowing water of the brook. This is the best area to let go one's negative vibrations to be absorbed by nature and also allow all impurities, psychological, emotional or spiritual, to flow with the water of the brook to be diluted and purified in life's ocean of goodness.

A small balcony that used to be connected to my bedroom before the old house was demolished is now the Balcony of Reconciliation for quarreling lovers to forgive each other under the multi-colored bignay fruits. The former dining room is now the Terrace of Merriment, a multi-purpose area for any kind of gathering. Adjacent to it is the Drinkers" Nook where I often serve my secret tea. Under the Balcony of Reconciliation is a cozy area for those who are at home with the street and neighborhood noises.

Going around my garden that I named GAUDOM, A Mini Forest (from Gaudencio and Dominga, my late parents ) is an entirely exhilarating experience. As one boy commented: "I don't know why but I just feel very, very good when I am here".

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

OF EARINGS AND EARS

The traffic was heavy and while I was riding a jeepney from Baclaran I had a chance to watch the passengers in front of me on the other side of the vehicle.

I was first attracted by an old woman with a shiny pair of earrings shaped like lyres. Then I looked at her ears and enjoyed observing earrings as well as ears of passengers that come and go.

I didn't realize before that shapes of earrings could be so varied as ears themselves. There were dot-like earrings as there were giant ones, I wonder how the ears could carry their weight. There were all kinds of shapes, colors and styles. There were small ears, big ears, elongated, rounded, crumpled, distorted, sexy, all sorts. There were also clean ears, dirty ears, and smelly ears.

Scientifically there are two ears so that the person will know the direction, the distance and the source of the sounds he hears. But symbolically there are two ears so tht the listener will get more source of information rather than just believing a single source.

Ears could be very interesting whether they hang earrings or not. And male ears too, have their own quality and appeal. Some have their earrings though usually one sided only.r

I think if all earrings ordinarily used by Filipinos could be gathered together, the value would be enough to pay our foreign debts. Then ears will no longer glitter but will all be healthier and will definitely hear clearer. Have you heard of a country's economy solved by the people's ears?

FATHERING

Fathering to most husbands was limited to good providing and forgetting the important aspects of it. I thought I was lucky somehow that due to our own unique family circumstances I was exposed to other sides of rearing children.

My wife being a very hard working woman was most of the time out and so, I was forced by reason and obligation to simply take over some of the household chores as well as true parenting.

With five children then all going to school one could imagine the guidance they all needed to be able to survive acceptably. It was not easy to evaluate and to make decisions whether to allow them or not to go to a certain function or to make acquaintance with just anybody. Considering and understanding that they easily got jealous about each other could be very tormenting. To explain convincingly to each one every NO answer to some of their requests was enough to trigger a terrible hadache.

I could never forget that experience of mine one time while I was watching a very interesting show on T.V., one night, my son in college requested me to write a script about a certain topic that he was expected to submit the following day. Barely five minutes afterwards my son in the grade school also requested me to make an outline of his proposed report "for presentation tomorrow".

I haven't started with the first two requests when my daughter came asking my help in making soap, also "for evaluation tomorrow".

So goodbye T.V. watching. I started working just to be interrupted once more by another daughter who was confused about the behaviour of her lover, and still another one who was requesting for a back massage.

When I thought everything was in order I said I finally have time to watch the late night news when my wife appeared and nagging me why I didn't give her attention anymore.

Fathering could be very fulfilling, after all, when one realized that everyone needed him. The experience was multiplied by many days, weeks, months and years until I found out one day that they are all grown ups, some with their own families to attend to. Two sons were based in Australia, a daughter migrated to Canada, another daughter will possibly move to London, while the eldest daughter may also be tempted to leave the country.

I shall not object to any of their decisions knowing that they know what they are doing and what is good for their own future. I will not even mind if when my time comes, none of them shall be around my bed. I am open-minded and I know where I stand. I cannot be an obstacle to their progress. And when the hour of final judgement comes, I can face my Creator straight in the eyes and without guilt tell Him: As a parent, I did my best to my children at the time when they needed me most.