TOUPEE

TOUPEE
Nov. 26, 1993 – 9:00 p.m.

Wearing a toupee in reality is a lot of sacrifice. But once you have started it, it is not very easy to throw away without throwing yourself away with it. It is like being successful in riding a wild tiger and unable to get out afterwards without damaging oneself.
I started wearing toupee in 1970 exactly 23 years ago and since then I experienced many difficulties in my everyday existence. Just to cite a few examples I’ll begin at home. Early in the morning I have to wear it on waking up for I don’t want the maid and the driver to see me bald. It must be in the right position if I have to maintain my identity.
During windy days and while commuting in public transports I already have that feeling of uneasiness not knowing how my hair looks at a certain moment. I solved this by using a full wig instead of my original partial hair piece that merged with my remaining natural hair. I also changed my style from the old-fashioned parted to the carefree bang type, which I can comb with my fingers even away from a mirror.
The changing in my style was in itself a bit traumatic. I looked different to the surprise of my friends. But it was flattering to hear that I looked ten or twenty years younger.
When everybody got used to it I found it difficult to remove, hence I am still a victim and a slave of a bunch of artificial hair. Inside the church when attending a mass I usually stay at the very back or last row as I feel too conscious when someone is staring at my nape from behind.
What is embarrassing though is when talkative and inquisitive children suddenly notice it and seriously ask: “Why is your hair like that?” One time while eating on the presidential table together with other wedding sponsors, someone placed a big electric fan facing me, thinking that she was doing me a favor, unaware how jittery I felt.
When I reach the age of sixty, I plan to offer a simple party, invite some good friends then announce something like this: “In life we all have to lie once in a while. In life also I learned that there are two kinds of lie. One is by not telling the truth and two by covering the truth. I have my own share of lying which, I now want to confess to you. For years I did not only tell many lies. I made you all believe that I am not bald. So now I will remove the cover and henceforth you see nothing but the truth about my golden crown”.
After t hat I will have the options whether to keep my head clean-shaved at all times or allow my scanty gray hair to grow wild and free. As of now, I am for the first option, meaning keeping my head clean-shaved at all time but when the time comes that my hands start quivering for what ever cause, who will do the daily shaving?
So, back to the original idea of the necessity of having
available, a modern Home for the Aged. I wish I will have the chance
To avail myself of that kind of service before I die.