Friday, August 10, 2007

Of Friendship, Quarrels and Reconciliations

Case # 1: It was one of those good friends having a "petty" quarrel. Due to gossips and outside influences, the misunderstanding got more serious until it looked so impossible to patch-up. The families were already involved and the whole community was aware of it. Both were willing to send the other to hell. This was the situation when I decided to reconcile the warring "kumadres".

I requested the parties to meet at a neutral place to give themselves a chance to express each other's deepest feelings. Both were hesitant at first but with my own brand of persuading people, they were finally convinced to meet.

I gave both instructions on what to do, what to say and how to behave. To the angrier one I suggested that she say everything she wanted to say no matter how insulting the words maybe. To the less angry (or guilty) I told her to listen and just swallow everything, then ask for forgiveness afterwards for whatever vague shortcomings or abuses she happened to have done.

When we finally went to one meeting place, one after the other, I started by asking the Divine Providence's guidance then I gave a little backgrounder about the meeting. In less than half an hour the two were crying, asking forgiveness and forgiving. Thank God for using me again as His instrument for reconciliation and peace.

Case # 2: They were the best of friends. Inseparable, always together, until circumstances decided that one must go abroad. It occured a bit so suddenly and the separation was quite abrupt. Friend A, the one left behind, felt the void so much that she regretted their strong friendship. Because of what she felt, she promised herself to change her attitude about friendship. Her personality was somewhat changed too.

She met new friends and one of them almost filled the emptiness created by the absence of her former best friend. Until one day, her old friend whom we shall address as friend B, came back from the states. Confusion arose between them and things were never the same since then. Friend A, discovered new realization with her new friend while friend B who just came back, now felt the void. She got jealous, felt insecure and behaved differently in order to compensate for her insecurities while friend A felt challenged and reacted strongly thus resulting to more and more misunderstandings.

They both looked at the situation from their own subjective biases and abnormal point o f view and they never saw things clearly. They both turned stubborn, equally defensive, abnormally proud and unwilling to give way. They were both made childish and childlike by the event. They became worst enemies and seemed to enjoy quarreling all the time. Meantime they both went on doing their best to hurt each other, their idea of the best solution so far. Yet, they were two of the most promising citizens in town.

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