FATHERING

Fathering to most husbands was limited to good providing and forgetting the important aspects of it. I thought I was lucky somehow that due to our own unique family circumstances I was exposed to other sides of rearing children.

My wife being a very hard working woman was most of the time out and so, I was forced by reason and obligation to simply take over some of the household chores as well as true parenting.

With five children then all going to school one could imagine the guidance they all needed to be able to survive acceptably. It was not easy to evaluate and to make decisions whether to allow them or not to go to a certain function or to make acquaintance with just anybody. Considering and understanding that they easily got jealous about each other could be very tormenting. To explain convincingly to each one every NO answer to some of their requests was enough to trigger a terrible hadache.

I could never forget that experience of mine one time while I was watching a very interesting show on T.V., one night, my son in college requested me to write a script about a certain topic that he was expected to submit the following day. Barely five minutes afterwards my son in the grade school also requested me to make an outline of his proposed report "for presentation tomorrow".

I haven't started with the first two requests when my daughter came asking my help in making soap, also "for evaluation tomorrow".

So goodbye T.V. watching. I started working just to be interrupted once more by another daughter who was confused about the behaviour of her lover, and still another one who was requesting for a back massage.

When I thought everything was in order I said I finally have time to watch the late night news when my wife appeared and nagging me why I didn't give her attention anymore.

Fathering could be very fulfilling, after all, when one realized that everyone needed him. The experience was multiplied by many days, weeks, months and years until I found out one day that they are all grown ups, some with their own families to attend to. Two sons were based in Australia, a daughter migrated to Canada, another daughter will possibly move to London, while the eldest daughter may also be tempted to leave the country.

I shall not object to any of their decisions knowing that they know what they are doing and what is good for their own future. I will not even mind if when my time comes, none of them shall be around my bed. I am open-minded and I know where I stand. I cannot be an obstacle to their progress. And when the hour of final judgement comes, I can face my Creator straight in the eyes and without guilt tell Him: As a parent, I did my best to my children at the time when they needed me most.